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Ending a Relationship: How Do You Know When Enough Is Enough?

When deciding if and when to leave or end a relationship, how do we wade through the thoughts and consequences? How do you know when enough is enough?

When deciding on ending a relationship, the first question we ask ourselves is: How do I know when enough is enough? Someone very special and beautiful asked me that question this week.

In our culture, we are faced with all kinds of messages about relationships: see the good in people, relationships take work, rise above, and don’t have too many expectations. Then, don’t put up with anyone’s disrespect, take care of yourself, set limits, leave abuse. These messages convolute all our decisions on how to set boundaries in relationships or know when it is right for us to leave them. We don’t know who to blame, us or them.  Add to it worry and fear about being alone, or being abandoned, or about other people judging you, and it becomes a maze to wade through.

Unconditional Love and Ending a Relationship

Problems in significant relationships effect our anxiety and depression more than any other factor in our life because our relationships and their success define us. These are huge decisions. The heaviness of making the right one, can be immobilizing. One can either open to reconnecting, nor can they step away to relieve themselves. Above all, they lose all trust in themselves, staying in misery and passing it back and forth between them.

We think we are supposed to have unconditional love for our partners and mistake this for having an unconditional relationship. Relationships have conditions! All relationship arrangements are negotiable, and there is usually aspects that for one or both partners that are not negotiable.

When deciding if and when to leave or end a relationship, how do we wade through the thoughts and consequences? How do you know when enough is enough?It is not easy to chose to leave a relationship and I do not have a prescription answer. Sometimes, it is best and other times it is not, and these both can depend. One thing I do understand is that if you make a decision, you make that your decision. Whichever you decide, you live that decision with your best self. Look deep inside you, beyond all fear and all guilt and there you’ll find the answer. Ask your higher self what is the best for everyone involved. Step back from the situation and see yourself and your partner from a distance. This intention and perspective can help you get clarity.

The Ending a Relationship Decision

There is no right decision. Decisions are like everything else, relative. It doesn’t matter if it is “right” or not, you make a decision and then make it right for you.

You might decide to postpone your decision to end a relationship, but even that is a decision to be lived instead of lamented. Don’t beat yourself up for “not deciding,” postpone consciously. But before making a decision about whether to stay in or leave a relationship, think about this:

  • Know you are exactly where you are supposed to be. You are perfect and awesome.
  • There is nothing to be afraid of, you cannot chose wrong.
  • Get people that love you around you.
  • Find your worth and know who you are and your purpose.

Then, and only then, the preferable choice will be as clear as day.

How have you decided to stay in or leave a relationship? Let my friend know how you did it. Comment below!

I blog here: Heal Now and Forever Be In Peace
share here: Twitter@JodiAmanGoogle+
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247 thoughts on “Ending a Relationship: How Do You Know When Enough Is Enough?”

  1. I am so confused. My head is a mess, i honestly do not know what is the best thing to do. I am in a same sex relationship with a woman 4 years older than me and we have been together almost a year. From day one our relationship hasn’t been very pleasant, we have argued so much from the get go but yet we still managed to fall in love. We had a lot of trouble with her ex in the beginning, causing problems and giving her abuse etc which led to my partner suffering depression and attempting suicide. Thankfully she was fine, but as time went on it led to me suffering from depression also as we were arguing so much. A few months in we took a step back and said that we could not live like that and that was when we had started trying to fix ourselves. Since then we had both picked ourselves up and started to better ourselves, getting better jobs etc. We had been perfect for a couple of months with almost no arguments at all, up until about two months ago. Now we argue all the time, about stupid things that don’t even matter. Myself and my partner both have trust issues from past experiences, but we did start to trust eachother. Promises are a massive thing to me and show me that I can trust a person. But my partner has broken several promises to me, some little, some big. But if I make an issue out of it because I am disappointed, she laughs at me and gets annoyed at me because I can’t believe what she says sometimes. Now, we are at the point where she wants to brush everything under the carpet but I am so upset and hurt and feel deceived that I honestly do not know what the best thing to do is. I don’t know if we should carry on trying to make it work or if it is time to call quits? It’s so hard because when we are good together we are absolutely amazing and so so perfect. But when we are bad we are awful. I worry that if I broke it off with her, she might try to harm herself or reverse back to the way she was when I first met her, barely eating and drinking heavily. I don’t want to see her go like that. I feel that I really do love her, and when we are good we feel like we are meant for each other. It’s just so so hard. Like seriously, what the hell do I do???

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