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Domestic Abuse / Domestic Violence Stories

I wanted to share my domestic abuse story in the hopes that even ONE PERSON benefits by what I experienced. The emotional and mental abuse survivor stories below are there to help you think about your present situation; to let you know you are not alone and to help everyone recognize the different faces of domestic violence. There are also tips from people on how they got out of their domestic abuse situation.

I think it's important that we all speak up. Hopefully this site will help SOMEONE out of a similar situation. Here are some of the stories that have been shared with me:

Tommie -
My story of how I broke free from domestic violence, physical abuse, an abusive relationship, abusive marriage.Comments - Ray and I have been married for 24 years. Things have been bad between us for awhile. It always feels like and push and pull contest. Ray threatened to Baker Act me and in a state of fear and anxiety, I did it to myself. I was afraid, suspicious and angry. I have had to drop out of school three times. I put Ray through college. He went to Amsterdam on vacation after he had filled out a statement to the police department and had me arrested for domestic violence. The argument was about Ray coming home late. He showed up after drinking a glass of wine in the parking lot at Walmart. An argument ensued. I believe in honesty and solving problems in the privacy of your own home. I believe in marriage and that God sees all things. Ray filled out a statment to keep from going to jail. He sold his wife, friend and lover down the river. I am now on probation. Ray will not admit that he is a verbal, mental, and emotional abuser. He uses money as control. I have let myself become financially dependent on Ray. We used to be friends. Now, it's like I have to be careful about everything I say and do. I don't want to leave. Ray will not change. It's like a spiritual battle. We both want to be ourselves. He won't go to lunch with me. I am not allowed to visit him at work. He gives me no information about his finances. He's moved his checking account. He will not reimburse me for money that I spent to get the house fixed up for refinance and yet he wants his money. He pays the morgage and the utilities and thinks that this gives him the right to be verbally abusive. I have often wanted to call Dr. Phil and have them videotape our conversations. Ray does not think that he ever does anything wrong. It is hard for me to work and concentrate at school. I am intelligent and attractive. I wish I knew how to turn us around once and for all. It is hard to live with the possibility of going to jail because you are not allowed to argue or defend your position and right to be respected. I want to be financially independent and am seeking full time employment in a non-commissioned job. I pray continuously. We have good days. I enjoy those. Pray for us.


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Anne -
Comments
- First off, I don't know if I am being abused, but I know that I feel very used! Ab- used (not used right?). There is no affection in my marriage, no help around the house ever, my kids can't stand my husband, their stepdad because they see things he does that make them think that he isn't nice to me. He harasses the animals we have and even complimented his son for doing the same thing. The cats run away from him literally. He leaves to go play golf if I can't think of anything "fun" to do. He buys things for himself with money but criticizes me if I buy something for the family. He accuses me of always wanting to leave him and has threatened divorce. He backed me into a corner with accusations and lies and I lashed out and hit him. I admit to my anger and have made great strides in controlling it. I believe that the many things my husband does or doesn't do has contributed to my anger problem, but he says that it is all my fault. He wants me to speak my mind but when I do he criticizes me. I have quit talking about anything important to me. He tries to control conversations and usually turns the conversation into an argument or finds something to accuse me of. I often cannot think and have to leave when he starts talking because the subject always changes into something I don't want to talk about. He often forces me to talk and gets mad if I walk away. Sex? At least he doesn't force that but claims that his impotency problems are my fault. Am I being abused or am I just a whiner? I cry at least once a day. I abuse myself rather than lash out anymore. His first wife left him because she claimed that he was abusive. I was her friend but didn't believe her. Now I am more apt to believe her than him. We have been married almost a year and I have been subjected to pain I never thought existed. I have no self esteem any more. It is around somewhere, because I had a lot when I was a single mom and somewhat successful as a day care provider. Now he says he doesn't trust me with his son. Hmmmm.... Any comments?

karin -
Comments
- my story is unbelievible well to me it is.I met my partner three years ago i was a friend of his former wife who died before we got together he was loveley and charming until the day i moved in with him he pushed me in to doing that,i can't have a phone in the bedroom he dosen't like me walking down a certain path in case i see my ex if i go out during the day he has followed me accused me of seeing other people or my ex i have been out twice with my friends in three years the last time at christmas was awful he took an overdose two weeks later he gets so mad at me he bangs his head on the walls at weekend he kicked the kitchen cupboard in because my friend brought me a kitten that was being abandoned and i kept it he went crazy because he hadn't given his permission also he dosen't like my friend coming round, once i was walking down the road and he drove onto the pavement at me i was terrified, if i go out he has to run me wherever i want to go and pick me up, he once said if i left he would strangle me he is going for counciling but i dont think it will help do you, i went to womens aid and they were great but i stopped going i feel like i let them down and don't like going back i thought he was getting better,we are having to move house soon because he dosen't lke it here its to close to people i know i am dreading it i know something will happen soon i hope next time i have the guts to get out i just don't feel me anymore.is always saying he wants to die sometimes i wish he would,he erased numbers off my mobile that i get accused of allsorts if i take it out i am forty years old with three children the youngest his i try i really do he expects me to love him i feel dead inside i don't even cry anymore

sabin -
Comments
- so about my marriage my mother-in-law wanted me to call her everyday to tell her what i had done all day.If i did not she got upset at my family. She did not approve of my wedding arrangements ,did not approve of my relatives, did not like the fact that i was very interested in my family and relatives. On the 21st of may,2002, she told my sister to find a new friend to replace me because i am married to her son now and no longer in need of my sister.My sister is no longer my family.My husband and his mother told me how my family take advantage of me and how they have wasted my life.I am not a nice person because of my family.I should only talk to professionals.When i complained i was told i was an ungrateful bitch.My husband told me that he bought me from the ghettos to live in a big milloin dollar home.Yet all i did was complain.I did not deserve the food i ate ,the clothes i wore.I did not deserve what he gave me.Nobody would want to marry me i was lucky he married me. things he said to me: I have a very big vagina big for 3 penises at one time so the next guy will throw me out next morning Since i can not give him sex as he wants my family should replace me with my younger sister.It is my family's duty to exchange my sister instead of me since i can not satisfy him HE always wanted a thresome me and his Dutch girlfriend and him I would be instantly terminated if i am pregnant with a baby girl.But if i am pregnant with a boy i can stay.I will be officially accepted as his wife by his family. i was constatly put down by his mother because i did not come up to her standards of the perfect daughter-in-law: i did not get up early enough to clean the house, to give her a hot oil massage . I cleaned and mopped the kitchen,the bathrooms, the bedrooms and the office.