Without thinking, we respect the inherent value of dogs and cats as animals. So, too, human beings have inherent value just as they are, apart from what they accomplish, possess, or whose approval they enjoy.
As you grow in self-esteem, you can learn to respect and believe in yourself apart from what you have accomplished and without relying on another for your good feeling (or making another reliant on you).
Examples of mistaken beliefs:
- Criticisms: (thus "I'm worthless")
- Ignored: (thus "My needs don't matter")
- Rejected: (thus "I'm unlovable")
How to change these old beliefs around:
I'm powerless. I'm a victim of outside circumstances.
"I'm responsible and in control of my life... Circumstances are what they are, but I can determine my attitude toward them."
Life is a struggle. Something must be wrong if life seems too easy, pleasurable, or fun.
"Life is full and pleasurable."
"It's ok for me to relax and have fun."
"Life is an adventure and I'm learning to accept both the ups and downs."
I'm unimportant. My feelings and needs are unimportant.
"I am a valuable and unique person."
"I deserve to have my feeling and needs taken care of as much as anyone else."
Just recognizing your own particular mistaken beliefs is the first and most important step toward letting go of them. The second step is to develop a positive affirmation to counter each mistaken belief and continue to impress it on your mind until you are "deprogrammed."