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I Don’t Want You Anymore Depression

Sometimes it feels like it has been a long 20 years of living with depression and it’s related challenges. Today feels like it’s been far too long. I have been lucky enough to experience periods of reprieve, times of fresh perspective and times of stability. I believe I am still in a healthy place despite some major life challenges. But, even with these periods of relative calm and good mental health, there is something ever-present, the fear and stigma of depression.CB031055

Searching for Work with a History of Depression

I am currently on a job search. Knowing that my work activities, hobbies, and volunteer efforts are almost entirely focused on mental health, I know that it might raise some questions for prospective employers. The imagined thoughts are that an employer would say, “Oh, she’s really into mental health, she must be messed up herself!” or “We don’t need to add someone to our team who might not be stable.” My blogs and mental health related social media efforts are completely public, by choice, and I can’t help but wonder if it could hinder my ability to find work.

It’s not that I feel embarrassed about my experience, it’s a human experience. My challenges with depression are real and can happen to anyone. It’s not that I am personally ashamed. But, I know the stigma that is out there, I know the concerns of employers and people who aren’t so compassionate towards mental health issues. I know that we aren’t to speak of such things in public, and that if we do, we are often considered as “going against the grain”, sometimes even brave and courageous, for discussing what society has deemed  taboo topics.

The World Can Be Cruel to Those with Depression

I see the reality of how people are treated with any history of mental illness. I have a family member who is currently in the hospital for some very serious symptoms that could indicate a stroke or a neurological problem. The nurse asked yesterday if my family member had any history of mental illness, perhaps she could be exaggerating her symptoms? She asked this even though they have already seen medical proof that a small stroke has previously occurred and that there are very serious conditions indicated by her current symptoms. No one denies that previous mental health issues are important to take note of, but don’t discredit other medical concerns as a result.

Everywhere I turn I see how depression has left it’s mark on my life. It’s hard not to see actually. I don’t want to have that vision. My windshield may be cracked, but I want to see the light and beauty beyond it. I want to be given the opportunities that any other person would be given, regardless of health conditions. Would anyone even consider not offering a job to a person with a “mainstream” medical condition? More than likely, the issue would not come up in the hiring process.

You Can Leave Now Depression

I choose to see my future as bright and the options are limitless. I choose to see the endless opportunity before me. It truly is an open road. I see how depression has strengthened me and brought gifts into my life. Most days, I wouldn’t trade it for the world because of the meaning and importance my experience has brought to me and the lives of others. But just for today, I am tired of it. I don’t want to explain my depression to anyone, I don’t want to worry about it being held against me. I reject the judgment of this world. I don’t want you anymore depression.

5 thoughts on “I Don’t Want You Anymore Depression”

  1. Depression is a group of psychiatric syndromes, that could be successfully cured. And this fact isn’t enough in the community, to eradicate the sinister shade of stigma toward mental disorders. This phenomenon, mostly might to experience mentally ill person, like depressive sick patient as well, in their daily life: in family bosom, in the work place, in the road, everywhere. Even neuroscience last two decade has made epochal advancement in the discovering of many secrets of etiopathogenezis of depression, that are useful in satisfying treatment of depression, the problem of ignorant and neglected attitudes into community toward mental difficulties remain still disturbing. In order to overcome this undesirable viewpoint, it should to work hardly in the destigmatization of mentally ill patient, by which they would be included without any barrier to social life and activities. In this hopeful action should be take place the system of education in the first line, then every social and cultural institution, governmental and nongovernemental organizations etc. in the functional promotion of mental health.

  2. One of the best ways to deal with depression-or even live successfully with it- is to completely recognize that it is part of our (and more importantly your own) human experience and something that can be lived with. The are numerous ways of cultivating subjective well being that actually can be achieved even while having depressive experiences. Like how you live your life with meaning and purpose by blogging and using social media to help a community of sufferers. Did Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill flourish? Were their ups and down a bit more dramatic than some others? When I focus on my positive relationships and involve myself in work, I often overcome what some people in my profession would love to call depression (and that MD have prescribed all sorts of things for.) For some people, the best way of getting rid of depression is by accepting it as a permanent, unwanted, but tolerated guest.

  3. I feel like depression is just as much an addiction as substance abuse. Just like in AA, once we suffer from it, we have it for life and we always need to be aware of it.

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