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Depression Can Drain You Of Your Will To Live

When depression drains you of your will to live, there's one key thought that can save your life. Don't know what it is? Learn how to stop the drain. Read this.

Depression can drain you of a lot of things: motivation, self-esteem, focus, decisiveness. The list is long (Why Live When You Feel Like Dying?). The very worst of these is when depression drains you of your will to live. I know. I’ve been there.

Depression Drained My Will to Live

I think about that day a lot, less than two years ago, when I almost killed myself. I sometimes wonder if I would have gone through with it. How much lower would I have needed to be? I was pretty low – holding the lethal pills in my hand. I felt so desperate, so sad, so lost and alone.

At the very lowest moment, I had one, very brief moment of clarity in which I asked myself to think about just one thing that I was looking forward to.

And then I lived.

The ‘Just One Thing’ That Stopped Depression From Draining My Will To Live (And More)

From that moment on, that technique of finding just one thing has become my saving grace. When I lack motivation, I tell myself to get up and do just one thing, like vacuum the rug. When my self-esteem is low, I remind myself about just one thing that I am good at, like writing. When my focus is blurred, I pick just one thing to concentrate on, like reading. When my depression threatened to swallow me whole, when I nearly took my own life, I thought of just one thing to stay my hand: my daughter’s wedding.

Can Something So Small Stop Depression From Draining Your Will To Live?

It is a very rudimentary, yet powerful, technique I learned during cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). People scoff at psychotherapy, calling it ineffective. When partnered with other treatments, psychotherapy and CBT can save your life.

Today, my particular battle is with this unbelievably long, brutally cold and snowy winter (What is Seasonal Affective Disorder, Seasonal Depression?). I’m trying very hard to think about just one thing I appreciate about the winter besides my love for wearing warm, cozy sweaters; the just one thing I appreciate about the winter is that is always ends (eventually), and it always ushers in the spring!

When depression is draining you of you will to live, of all those things that make you who you are, try, if you can, to think about just one thing that can help change your state of mind. Try it. It works!

152 thoughts on “Depression Can Drain You Of Your Will To Live”

  1. I also don’t want to live anymore but for the time being. I know I would be willing after a few days. Currently my one of my closest cousin sister doesn’t accept me as brother. I have tried every thing in all the ways to persuade her. I tried to visit her by travelling 3000+ Km journey but she refused to talk even. I have discussed some of the things with one of my friends and he suggested let her go to hell. All other would say similar thing and laugh on me.

    One of my Aunt said, “hey! you forget everything and start worshiping God”

    I am unable to understand to whom should I say my concern in order to get a solution. I feel I should have alcohol and to be in unconscious state. But my ethics doesn’t allow to have this.

    I have tried enough. Now she has such strong hatred feeling that she doesn’t even want to be connected over social media. Please Please Pleasee help me.
    Thanks in advance.

    1. Hello Rahul,
      I’m one of the current authors of the ‘Coping with Depression’ blog. I’m glad that you reached out and I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I can truly understand this feeling where someone doesn’t accept you and it’s all you can think about. Consider this: how would you feel if you were able to stop thinking about this? What would it be like if this wasn’t even a concern? Would you feel freer? Happier? More joyful? It’s not easy at all to let these things go, but when you think about how you would feel without this burden, sometimes, that helps to let it go. Also, what activities can you get involved in to take your mind off of this? I would also recommend reaching out to a trusted professional if things don’t improve. And, if you are feeling suicidal, please get help immediately. https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/suicide/suicide-suicidal-thoughts-and-behaviors-toc/
      I wish you all the best and hope that your heart will feel better soon.
      –Michelle Sedas

      1. Thank you Michelle,
        But similar suggestion was given by one of my closest friend; however the more I get these kind of the suggestions the more stronger bond I feel towards my sister. Also, I have a watch that was given by her this always makes me remember her. I tried to remove it from my hand but It’s impossible. Once I had a thought to break down the watch on a stone but couldn’t do rather I put my opposite side of the hand.

        I have given her calls through my friends cell phone just to listen her voice. Literally don’t understand as what’s happening to me.

        Almost all the people would say to forget her keeping self respect in mind, but my heart says otherwise. Also Please do not share any solution which talks about forgetting her or may hurt her in anyways.

        1. I’m a consultant in medical college. I would recommend you to get away from her and let the your thoughts pass through you.

  2. I sill feel very guilty for attempting suicide last year. My depression has still plagued me and part of it is related to ambivalence about staying in my marriage. I am obsessed with my indecisiveness. Since I retired I feel no purpose. Wondering how to overcome feelings that I am a loser for trying suicide.. I have three children and know it was wrong to have almost put them through the pain of losing their father.

    1. Hello, Noel. I am one of the authors of the Coping With Depression Blog. I am sorry that you are feeling guilty. I want you to know that you are absolutely not a loser. I myself attempted suicide at the beginning of last year, so I completely understand the pain and mental anguish that a person feels upon reaching that point. Your focus now needs to be on the present and the future. You are still here. You do have a purpose. You mention your marriage and your children. Those are starting points. Since you’ve retired, look for volunteer opportunities and also take time to discover what your interests are. There are so many possibilities. I encourage you to speak with a professional about your feelings of guilt. While therapy doesn’t work for everyone, it has certainly helped me to find ways to cope with my depression and has also given me tools to effectively win the battle over my negative thoughts. I’m glad you reached out here, and I want you to know that it can get better, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.

  3. I’ve been wanting to kill myself for the past 3 years now and have tried mutliple times but I’m too afraid to seek help from my friends and family, I’m afriad of what they’ll say if I tell them I want to die. Nothing makes sense to me anymore, I don’t even have a will to eat or drink anymore.

    1. Dear Quinn,
      I’m one of the co-author of the Coping with Depression blog. I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. Please reach out; help is out there. If you are thinking of suicide, please get help. Here are resources: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/suicide/suicide-suicidal-thoughts-and-behaviors-toc/
      Your friends, family, as well as I want you to get well. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you can get better.
      Michelle Sedas

    2. Quinn,
      Hello, I’m Jennifer. I am the other co-author of The Coping With Depression Blog. I echo what Michelle wrote. I know you’re scared to ask for help, but you must do it. Your friends and family love you and will want you to get better. Please get immediate professional help if you are feeling suicidal. There is hope for a brighter future.

  4. I also don’t want to live. I can’t put things into words that make sense to anyone. I’ve just given up. I have 4 kids and I know in my heart I’m hurting them being here and would hurt them being gone. I hate my life. It feels like the largest chore just to be awake and survive.

    1. Hello, I am a current co-author of the Coping With Depression Blog. I am so sorry about the pain that you’re feeling. I understand and am glad you reached out here. If you haven’t spoken with a professional, then please do so. There is hope, and there is help available. If you are feeling suicidal, then it is imperative that you seek professional help immediately. There are people, myself included, who want you to get better.

  5. I have been thinking of killing myself for the past 2 years now. However, everytime I am about to, I stop. Sometimes because I am afraid of the physical pain I would have to go through for hours before I succumb to the injuries. Sometimes it was my parents I thought about. How would they feel when they see my dead body. And sometimes, a voice from somewhere that said. Wait there is happiness just around the corner. Only if you walk a little more.
    But somehow I am not able to reach that place. Not able to get the happiness I want. I dont know how long I can hold on. I am tired now. I just want someone to just take away all my emotions and feelings. This feeling of being unhappy, expectations, want of being valued, respected and being loved.
    And if nobody can do that, then just take away my soul.

    1. Hello Namita,
      I am a current co-author of the Coping With Depression blog. I’m so sorry you are feeling this way and I can completely understand. If you’re feeling this way, please speak with a professional. There is help out there. And if you are feeling suicidal, please get help immediately. https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/suicide/suicide-suicidal-thoughts-and-behaviors-toc/
      I’m glad you reached out and please continue to do so with those around you. They want you to feel better and we want you to feel better as well.

    2. Namita, I am sorry that you are going through this. I’m Jennifer, the current co-author of The Coping With Depression blog. I can see from your post that you are hurting and in need of hope. I would like to encourage you to seek help. You said that your parents are one of the reasons that you have chosen to stay in this fight for life so far. Reach out to them. Also, listen to the voice that is telling you that there is happiness out there waiting for you. There is. I know that you’re tired. I’ve been in that place before myself. If you haven’t sought professional help, please do so. There are many treatment options available. I’m glad you chose to reach out here. Please don’t give up hope. Your life is worth living.

  6. I can’t find one reason to stay alive. I wish it was that easy. I have no family, no friends, I’ve been battling a terminal illness for years. I don’t leave the house for weeks at a time, sometimes months. I live in extreme physical pain. For the last 2 years, I have added mental pain to that. People think that suicide is a cowards way out. I totally disagree! Every day I want to kill myself, but I don’t have the guts.

    1. Debra, we all have a purpose. I struggle, too, but I know that we are all here for a reason. Each of us has something to contribute. Try and think of the last time you experienced joy and maybe you can build on that.

    2. Debra, hello, I am Jennifer, the current co-author of the Coping With Depression Blog. I am so sorry you are dealing with this illness. I can hear your pain in the words that you wrote. I assume you’ve sought medical help for your terminal illness. You need to tell your healthcare provider about your suicidal thoughts immediately. Don’t wait. Your life matters. You matter. I know it’s hard. I almost took my life this past January, but my husband arrived home from work early and prevented me from doing it. I was then able to get the help I needed. While my depression is still here, my life is good. Throughout this past year I’ve been under the care of a psychiatrist and therapist, and together we’ve found treatments that have been successful. You and your medical providers can do the same. Don’t give up. I know it’s hard, but life is worth living. I am glad you reached out here for support.

  7. Sure, I find little things here and there that bring me a slight level of pleasure and keep my mind off of how much I want my life to end, but I still feel hopeless about my long term prospects in life. I am 41, single, childless, and living at home. This is nothing like the life I desired. My inability to properly manage diabetes ruined my life over a ten year period. Now I just feel stuck. I am basically unhireable in my old industry (accounting) because I haven’t done it in so long. The best paying job I can find around here is pizza delivery, which I had to leave because I couldn’t stop eating the damn food.
    I feel completely lost in life. I have no idea what direction to go to next or how on Earth I’m going to find a way to build enough value that someone is actually.going to pay me enough to get back on my own again. Ive been back living at home for two years now and I feel worse than ever. I tried turning my focus to God and that hasn’t seemed to help. I feel a deep inability to connect with people anymore, which has led me to despise my local community and even my own family. No one seems to understand the difficulty of my situation. Diabetes destroyed my ability to focus and my psychological health. I had so many dreams in life of being successful and making a difference in this world, and now I just sit at home counting the days till my death. I realize people say suicide isn’t the right answer, but in my situation I just see no hope in things ever getting any better, because I simply dont know how to make them better, and nobody else seems to know either. After all that hard worling getting good grades for daddy in high school and working hard to get a college degree in a major that daddy approved of and working to get a masters while working full time so daddy would see that i wasnt just a lazy bum, I still am here, a complete loser in life, because that is what society has dictated. A man who has no children who lives at home at 41 is a loser. Why would I want to keep living if I’m a loser?

    1. Hello, Mike, I’m Jennifer, the current co-author of the Coping With Depression Blog. I know that things are difficult for you right now, but you still have so much potential. From what you wrote about your past accomplishments in education, you have the ability and the intellect to achieve success. Depression contorts our view of ourselves and makes us feel hopeless and worthless. I know how difficult it is, but you can begin to take steps to get your life back on track. If you haven’t already sought professional help, then I recommend you do that first. The right treatment can make all the difference. Don’t give up on life. There is so much good left for you. Also, I understand the inability to connect with others; I have been through that myself. Medication and therapy have helped me work through that, which has proven both beneficial and important. You need the support of and connection to others on this path to healing. Finally, you are not a loser. You are a person who is battling depression, and you deserve to get the medical treatment you need. Then you can begin to see the beauty that life holds for you.

  8. Findibg those small things to motivate you step by step is great and all, but it it can also make you feel more like an empty shell seeking for something to fill that numb void, we were forced into these lives that we did not choose after all. Few years back i wanted to take my life same as many others that feel the same, but after about an hour kneeling on thr floor with a gun to my head, i though that maybe there is a happy version of me in the future that has found a something to fill this dark hole in my chest, and the only thing sitting between these versions of me is time. I spent the next few years of my life trying to wait out these hollow feelings, but ultinately this just left me numb and now incapable of communicating these feelings with other people.
    Ultimately i am trapped in a dark cell wherein im both the afraid prisoner and the cruel warden.
    … i guess 8 years wasnt enough… i need to wait more, till one day i can find that happiness that can make these years worth it. I have given up being suicidal and decided to be stubborn instead, no matter how much time i waste. This intovert will just have to sleep it off 1 night at a time.

    1. I understand where you are coming from, Mitch. You are not alone in your feelings. The afraid prisoner and the cruel warden…very well put.

    2. I know how you feel, man. The main reason I don’t self destruct is because of my dad. Logic help when once he’s gone, I don’t that I wouldn’t be right behind him.

  9. I had the odd thought today, as I felt, to my core: “I have nothing to lose. Really, I could die right now and be okay with it.” The subsequent thought: Well, if it’s no great sacrifice, time to be a superhero. Risk everything doing something good, something that matters.

    I guess I’m probably not going to pick out anything in spandex (I’m already wearing yoga pants, after all), but when I feel like I’ve got nothing to lose, maybe that’s a potential position of strength.

  10. My opinion is like: Continue living so you can change things. There are plenty of reasons to live on and love and try. If there is pain or if there are problems, as long as we live, we can fix it. Taking your life will hurt others whether you recognize it or not. If you’ve held on for this long, then you have enough strength. Seek help and cast out the demon of depression. If you take your life you can lose things that you don’t know about yet. You can not meet people you need. You cannot meet the people that will need you in the future that can make your life beautiful and vice versa. Good luck everybody and hold on. [Edited]

    1. I just feel they have all hurt me already and it would just be explained away like every other death as a oh well you know he was depressed and suddenly everyone will have amnesia as to just why this all happened. When you’ve spent your life neglected by your family and peers it’s a bleek existence

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