Negative body image in eating disorder recovery is often the last thing you let go. It’s said that a negative body image is the first thing to come and the last to leave. Hating our bodies is a theme even though eating disorders aren’t really about what our bodies look like on the outside. Here’s the reason negative body image in our eating disorder recovery is the last thing we let go.
There are many barriers to eating disorder recovery, but there are three that particularly wreak havoc. Recovery of any addiction requires us to be brutally honest with ourselves, take responsibility, and hold ourselves accountable. These are all things that an addict of any kind despises (How to Fight Barriers and Get to Your Safe Place). But once we can face the three barriers to eating disorder recovery that stand in our way, the road opens under our feet.
What if numbing out pain with food is an unhealthy solution, not an addiction? What if I told you that you weren’t addicted to food? What if I told you that you didn’t have a problem with food at all? What if I told you that the problem was the discomfort beneath your skin, that urge to squirm and itch and run. The discomfort under your skin is what you’ve been trying to numb out. The food is just the solution you’ve come up with.
Each year, as the New Year rolls around, millions of us with eating disorders set our resolutions. One of the number one American resolutions is to exercise more, with gym memberships spiking in January and then waning soon after. Despite good intentions, many people’s motivation falls to the wayside with nothing more than a shrug. However, for those with eating disorders, resolutions involving our weight or bodies can make for a dangerous year (Are Your New Year’s Resolutions Aiding Your Eating Disorder Recovery?). Here’s how not to set a New Year’s resolutions with an eating disorder.
How do you talk to someone with disordered eating around the Holidays? The Holiday season is a time of gathering and lots of food. The average person may complain of overindulging and gaining some turkey or pie weight. But for the person with an eating disorder, the joy of the Holidays can be a time filled with anxiety (Surviving (and Thriving) During the Holidays With An Eating Disorder). Food is a part of celebration, but for those with disordered eating it can be difficult to maintain stability or stay on the recovery path. Added to that stress, are the dreaded looks or awkward questions of friends and family members. Here’s how to be a supportive person and talk with someone with disordered during the Holiday celebrations.
The person you meet in eating disorder recovery lies in the abyss of the rock bottom of addiction. It’s when you’ve tried on your own and failed. It’s when don’t have enough tools yet to fend off the destructive patterns. In the abyss of rock bottom, you may end up in a hospital or treatment center fighting for your life, even when you’re not sure you want to fight for it. But we have a seed of will to survive, a sliver of hope that there’s a better life, if we can just find it. The person you meet in eating disorder recovery is the person that will be with you for the rest of your life, because that person is you.
We recover in community. We may think that our eating disorders, or addictions, separate us from others (Never Alone: Overcoming the Loneliness of Eating Disorders). We may think that no one understands, that we’re unique in our “specialness,” or our suffering. Then we enter therapy, a facility, or a group, and we begin to see that we’re not as unique as we thought. Our “special” form of suffering is shared by others, and guess what, they understand us. They don’t just try to listen and sympathize. They actually understand us because they’ve gone through the same things. One of the key factors in eating disorder recovery is connection to others, because we recover in community. Here’s three ways to connect in recovery.
Why would anyone resist eating disorder recovery? Wouldn’t eating disorder recovery be better than an active eating disorder? Afterall, when we think about eating disorders, the terms laughing, cheerful, bright, glad, or content don’t make the list. For those of us who’ve been living with our disorder for a while, there’s a helplessness, hopelessness and self-doubt, which kicks us down the stairs of depression with an eating disorder. We’re not stupid. We know we’re missing out on life. Yet fear pokes us with a sharp stick taunting, “What if you never recover? You’ll get fat. You’ll spiral out of control.” Terror of the unknown keeps us frozen in place, or moving with icy limbs. There’s a simple reason we resist eating disorder recovery. Once we hear it, eating disorder recovery won’t be the same.
Not a day goes by without me feeling grateful about being able to share with you on this blog my lived experience with an eating disorder. The concept of giving back to others who stand where I once stood makes me very happy and truly helps me maintain my recovery.
Happy Halloween, y’all! While I always greatly enjoy seeing what the kids in the neighborhood dress up as, there is one thing I am less excited to see in disguise: my eating disorder. Symptom switching is your eating disorder’s way of sneaking back into your routine. In the past 14 years, one thing I have learned is this: the eating disorder never stays the same.
Martha Lueck
Z Zoccolante
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