Don't Let Negative People Harm Your Confidence
Friday, August 12 2016 Emily Roberts MA, LPC
Negative people are everywhere and negative people can harm your confidence dramatically. If we aren't careful, their negativity can rub off on us leading to self-esteem issues, unhappiness and lower self-confidence. We can't avoid all the negative people and energy that come into our lives but we can take measures to stay aware and positive. Don't let those negative people harm your confidence.
Become Aware of Negative People Who Harm Your Confidence
When you become aware of how depleting and draining it is to be around these unhappy souls, you may feel an urge to help them or get sucked into their drama. Don't fall for it, you've got to take care of your energy and your mood before you can be of service to others. Negative thinking is seriously addicting.
Want to know what else you can do to stop negative people from harming your confidence? Here are five ways to stay positive and in control around negative people.
5 Ways to Handle Negative People and Stay Confident
- Stay mindful. Be aware of how you feel when you are with others. Are you depleted, annoyed, or frustrated? How do you feel when you are away from them or thinking of them? If you notice your mind is filled with more icky energy, it's a sign these people are likely weighing you down emotionally.
- Cope ahead. If you know you have to spend time with a negative person, cope ahead by managing your emotions before you are in his or her presence. Repeat a mantra or positive affirmation, remind yourself of all the positive things in your life, make a gratitude list, or do something that makes you feel confident and in control.
- Zip up. As silly as this sounds, zip up emotionally. Don't share too much or give in to their needs if they interfere with your happiness or time. Be a positive presence and validate them but don't reinforce their negative thoughts or self-talk. Also, don't give too much. You can only tell someone how beautiful or awesome he or she is so many times until it's exhausting you and your confidence can be harmed.
- Look for the positive. If someone is a gossip or constantly talking about negative stuff, you are allowed to switch up the conversation. Negative people love talking about the bad stuff, so you can incorporate the good. Starting a new conversation or highlighting something positive can shift the conversation in a whole new direction. If they continue to complain or make you feel drained, shorten your visit with them.
- Have a plan for afterwards (talk to a good friend, go get a coffee or watch your favorite show). Focus on something to look forward to after the contact.
And if you feel like you're one of these negative people, remember you can change this (How to Become a More Likable Person). Thoughts influence your actions and your energy. If you think negatively, you're going to feel negatively. Look for more positives and practice looking for the good side of any problem or situation. Try to add in more positive events during your day and be mindful of the things that make you feel frustrated. You can turn your thoughts around with just a little effort and not be a negative person that harms others' confidence.
Emily is a psychotherapist, she is intensively trained in DBT, she the author of Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are. You can visit Emily’s Guidance Girl website. You can also find her on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter.