Feeling powerless or lacking control hurts your self-esteem and it interferes with your quality of life. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. While you can’t always control your circumstances, you can certainly change your actions or thoughts about a situation. You have much more power than you realise and it’s up to you to take control of your life.
Tips on Taking Control of Your Life
- Acknowledge your present or past situation. Maybe you’re feeling stuck, your past was damaging, people around you are toxic or you made mistakes. Acknowledge the reality, accept the things you can’t change and give yourself permission to move on despite of it. Make a fresh start today.
- Believe what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. The fact that you got through, or are surviving some difficult circumstances shows that you are strong. Every experience is a lesson and a test of strength. Use that strength to empower yourself.
- Release the victim mentality. Yes, you may have been hurt and you may have been a victim in the past. However, it doesn’t have to be that way forever. Believing you’re a victim takes away your power and it prolongs the hurt. Stop blaming others, your past or your circumstances. Make the choice to no longer be a victim.
- Accept responsibility for your life. Realise that it’s up to you to create the life you want.
- Use affirmations. For example, “I am strong,” “I can create change” or “I am in control.”
- Know that you always have a choice. No matter what your situation you always have a choice, even if it’s the choice to do nothing. For example, you may choose to stay in a job, relationship or keep toxic friendships. If you can’t change your situation you can change the way you think and react to it.
- Forgive others and yourself. Forgiveness gives you the freedom to move on. It doesn’t mean the behaviour or situation was okay, but it means it won’t hurt you any more. You may reluctant to forgive when you’ve been hurt but it’s for your own well being. Do it for yourself.
- Set healthy boundaries. Distance yourself from toxic people or situations.
- Look after your own needs. Speak up for yourself and work on being assertive.
- Live in the present moment. You can’t change the past and dwelling on it replays the hurt. What you do now determines your life path.
- Set yourself goals. Goals give you meaning, purpose, direction and a sense of achievement. Visualise the life you want and set small goals to get you there. It’s empowering when you start seeing progress.
- Get professional help. I highly recommend getting the support you need, especially if you’re finding it difficult to take control of your life. It can be a challenge and you don’t have to do it alone.
Taking control of your life does require effort and persistence. It’s not an easy road but it’s well worth the effort. It’s up to you to create a confident, empowered you.