• advertisement

Our Mental Health Blogs

Why Can Giving Affection Trigger Verbal Abuse?

Why Can Giving Affection Trigger Verbal Abuse?

Giving affection can trigger verbal abuse in abusive relationships. Learn why abusers abuse us for loving them at HealthyPlace. Read this to learn why giving affection is your abuser's problem, not yours.

Giving affection to your abusive partner can trigger verbal abuse. Verbal abusers may lash out because they can’t give affection. Don’t get me wrong, they can provide acts of love when it suits them, but they aren’t able to give and receive affection mutually. Often, verbal abuse and problems with physical contact go hand in hand: abusers may withhold affection or contact from partners as punishment, or criticize them for being too affectionate or needy. But it all boils down to the same underlying problem. If there’s one thing my past relationship taught me, it’s that verbally abusive personality types can’t give affection in a healthy, mutually beneficial way, and this is why.

Continue reading

Are You Verbally Abused When You’re Sick?

Are You Verbally Abused When You’re Sick?

Being verbally abused when we're sick makes everything worse. Why does verbal abuse happen even when we're ill? How can you deal with being verbally abused?

Have you been verbally abused when you were sick? It’s horrible. We have enough to deal with when we’re sick without being verbally abused when we’re at our most vulnerable. Feeling unwell and physically weak makes us sitting targets for gaslighting, emotional abuse and manipulation because we’re less likely to put up a fight. But is this part of the attraction to perpetrators or are we just more susceptible to abuse when our defenses are down? Let’s examine what we know about verbally abusive personality types and why they target us when we’re sick.

Continue reading

Verbal Abuse and Depression: My Story

Verbal Abuse and Depression: My Story

Abuse and depression commonly occur together. But is depression an inevitable consequence of abuse? Or are depressed people more susceptible to abuse? The link between verbal abuse and depression is well known, but I didn’t realize I had depression until my verbally abusive relationship ended and I felt suicidal. It’s hard to write those words because they feel so alien to me now, but it shouldn’t be. It’s the truth — a truth that will resonate with anyone who’s ever been told by the person they love most that they’re not enough: not thin enough, not funny enough, not smart enough, or not enough to make someone happy. But was I  always prone to these feelings of depression and hopelessness, or were they triggered by the verbal and emotional abuse in my relationship?

Continue reading

Dreams About Abuse and How I’m Using them to Recover

Dreams About Abuse and How I’m Using them to Recover

Dreams about abuse play an active role in recovery from relationship abuse. As bad as dreams about abuse are, is there something positive to be said for them?

I still have dreams about abuse despite the abusive relationship ending years ago and the progress I’ve made in my recovery from verbal and psychological abuse. Sometimes I am trapped in a house with him, unable to escape. Other times the roles are reversed: I become the abuser, and he is the one begging for my love and respect. But then there are the nightmares — the dreams so violent and terrifying that they take weeks to shake off. I’m sure these forays into my subconscious are simply my brain trying to process what happened, but the dreams about abuse always take me right back to the way I felt at the time of the relationship abuse, and sometimes they’re just downright confusing.

Continue reading

Movies Romanticize Abuse Against Women: What’s the Danger?

Movies Romanticize Abuse Against Women: What’s the Danger?

Movies that romanticize abuse against women are alive and doing well in Hollywood. Learn about the dangerous consequences of romanticizing abuse in the movies.

Violence and verbal abuse against women are romanticized in many Hollywood movies, but perhaps none so blatantly as in Fifty Shades of Grey. Unsurprisingly, given the story originated from Twilight fan fiction, the popular erotic novel and subsequent movie smacks of emotional abuse. What are the real-life effects of movies that romanticize abuse against women?

Continue reading

Coping with Verbal Abuse This Christmas

Coping with Verbal Abuse This Christmas

You can't take a holiday from coping with verbal abuse. Not even Christmas makes the abuse stop. Read this for tips on coping with verbal abuse this Christmas.

Christmas is celebrated as a time of peace and joy, but for anyone coping with verbal abuse, the holiday season can be quite the opposite. Perhaps you’re forced to spend time with a manipulative or criticizing family member you wouldn’t normally see, or maybe the emotional vampire lives under your roof. Either way, verbal and psychological attacks can become more frequent and intense over the holidays, causing anyone in the firing line to become drained and withdrawn. Here’s why abusers act worse at the holidays, and how to cope with verbal abuse when it begins.

Continue reading

Why Verbal Abuse Is So Dangerous

Why Verbal Abuse Is So Dangerous

Verbal abuse is dangerous, and victims of verbal abuse are in danger. Let's examine the dangerous side-effects and stigmas of verbal abuse in relationships.

Most people think physical violence is more dangerous than verbal abuse in a relationship, but this is a misconception. It’s why we often hear well-meaning advice such as, “If an abuser’s behavior turns violent, it’s time to leave.” But should it have to get to this point before the abused person walks away? Emotional abuse and physical violence are not mutually exclusive — in fact, one is usually a precursor to the other. So, let’s explore the psychological side effects of verbal abuse, some of which have dangerous implications.

Continue reading

Early Warning Signs of Verbal Abuse

Early Warning Signs of Verbal Abuse

Think you spot the warning signs of verbal abuse in your relationship? Here are the early warning signs of verbal abuse that most people miss.

Think you’ve spotted the early warning signs of verbal abuse in your relationship? If so, you’re not alone. I was in a volatile, abusive partnership for two years before I identified the signs, and by then the damage was already done. Like me, you probably know that any form of emotional abuse is insidious and highly destructive. You understand that this kind of psychological trauma can lead to depression, self-harm and even physical violence in a relationship. Unlike me, however, perhaps you can spot the warning signs of verbal abuse early on and put an end to the vicious cycle.

Continue reading

Withholding Contact: When Silence Is Worse Than Verbal Abuse

Withholding Contact: When Silence Is Worse Than Verbal Abuse

Withholding contact can affect us more than verbal abuse and make us feel like we don't matter. So why do abusers withhold contact and how can we stop it?

Withholding contact is something your partner could do that could make you feel worse than hearing his verbal abuse. Picture yourself in a relationship in which there are no violent outbursts, no explosive fits of rage, no words thrown at you like hand grenades, in which your only punishments are silence and deprivation. It may sound like a favorable option to anyone on the frontline of a verbally abusive relationship, but so-called “withholding” is a particularly insidious method of abuse that deprives us of our basic comforts and makes us feel less than human. Here’s why verbal abusers withhold verbal and physical contact, and how to respond.

Continue reading

After Verbal Abuse Ends, There’s Still Left-Over Anxiety

After Verbal Abuse Ends, There’s Still Left-Over Anxiety

After verbal abuse, anxiety tends to overshadow our instincts. How can we learn to trust ourselves after verbal abuse when we can't tell the difference?

After verbal abuse, my mental health didn’t automatically return to normal. The first year after my verbally abusive relationship ended was tough. Not only did I struggle with the after-effects of verbal abuse — namely anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem — I also met someone new (let’s call him A) and fell in love all over again. A was everything I had ever wanted in a partner and my instincts were telling me “he’s the one” from the day we met. So why couldn’t I let myself be happy? With my verbal abuser firmly out of the picture, why was I still plagued with anxiety? Mental health problems may follow us long after verbal abuse ends.

Continue reading


Follow Us

Subscribe to Blog

  • advertisement

in Verbal Abuse in Relationships Comments

Mental Health Newsletter

Sign up for the HealthyPlace mental health newsletter for latest news, articles, events.

Mental Health
Newsletter Subscribe Now!

Mental Health Newsletter

Sign up for the HealthyPlace mental health newsletter for latest news, articles, events.

Log in

Login to your account

Username *
Password *
Remember Me