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Is Coercive Control the Same as Verbal Abuse?

Is Coercive Control the Same as Verbal Abuse?

Coercive control is hard to distinguish from other forms of relationship abuse. Is it necessary to define coercive control separately from verbal and emotional abuse? Learn what coercive control is and how it relates to domestic violence here, at HealthyPlace.

There is a growing awareness around coercive control, as well as umbrella terms like verbal and emotional abuse. This is partly thanks to the UK law that was passed in 2015 (carrying a prison sentence of up to five years for perpetrators), and also due to celebrities speaking out as part of the #metoo and #timesup movements. Although no such progress has been made in the US in terms of legislation, this is still a step in the right direction; it’s the start of our cultures taking lesser-known forms of domestic violence more seriously and recognizing the devastating effects of verbal abuse (as well as other types of abuse). So what exactly is coercive control, and how does it differ from other forms of abuse in a relationship?

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Loss of Identity in a Verbally Abusive Relationship

Loss of Identity in a Verbally Abusive Relationship

Loss of self-identity is common during a verbally abusive relationship, but is it ever possible to find your true self again? Visit HealthyPlace to discover what I learned about the loss of self-identity in an abusive relationship the hard way -- by losing who I was. You can avoid doing the same.

Most likely, you will suffer a loss of identity in a verbally abusive relationship. The relationship will take you as far away from yourself as it’s possible to go. Not only will you experience a loss of personal identity, you may even struggle to remember who you were before the abuse took hold. You will become a collaborator in the abusive process and the abuser will make you feel as though everything you experience is your fault, calling into question your personality and your motives (What Are Victims Responsible for in an Abusive Relationship?). So why does this happen, and can we ever unhook ourselves from it? Here’s what I learned after my loss of identity in a verbally abusive relationship.

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Gaslighting Abuse Examples and How to Respond

Gaslighting Abuse Examples and How to Respond

Spotting examples of gaslighting abuse is tricky enough, but how do you know what to say when a gaslighter strikes? Learn some examples of gaslighting abuse and how to respond to it at HealthyPlace. Don't wait -- get ahead of your gaslighter now.

It’s one thing to recognize examples of gaslighting abuse in a relationship, but it can be difficult to know how to respond. Part of the problem with gaslighting abuse is that if it were easy to spot, it wouldn’t be so effective. The reason these abuse tactics are so insidious is because gaslighters expose themselves gradually, but not without first discovering what makes us tick. As gaslighting abuse targets, we need to understand why and how gaslighters work to get us under their thumb so we can figure out how to respond. You will learn some examples of gaslighting abuse and how to respond to it if you keep reading.

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What Gaslighting Means and Why It Is So Hard to Call Out

What Gaslighting Means and Why It Is So Hard to Call Out

What does gaslighting mean? Why is gaslighting hard to identify in a relationship (and even harder to call out)? Learn about gaslighting at HealthyPlace and discover why gaslighters often get away with this type of abuse. If your relationship makes you feel crazy, you need to see this now.

Many of us think we know what gaslighting means, but even so, gaslighting is hard to call out in a relationship because it happens so gradually you might not even notice. Don’t be fooled by the displays of gaslighting we see in movies and on TV — a gaslighter won’t necessarily leave the oven on to make you think you’re crazy. He or she won’t always resort to blatant emotional manipulation tactics or call you a liar. Gaslighting can be a lot more pervasive, subtle and destructive than our basic understanding gives it credit for — and it could be happening to you. Here’s an illustration of what gaslighting means, why gaslighting is so hard to call out in a relationship, as well as the gaslighter types and traits to watch out for.

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Leaving a Verbally Abusive Partner: What’s the Breaking Point?

Leaving a Verbally Abusive Partner: What’s the Breaking Point?

When is it time to leave your verbally abusive partner? The breaking point can be difficult to recognize when it comes to verbal abuse. Learn about leaving your verbally abusive partner at HealthyPlace. When will enough be enough?

At what point do you leave a verbally abusive partner? The point where you walk away from a violent partner could be a bruise, a broken rib, or even fear for your life, but how do you know when it’s time to leave your abuser when the abuse is verbal? The signs of psychological or emotional abuse are often easy to dismiss, meaning we ignore the glaring red flags that tell us to get out. Nevertheless, there comes a point when the abuse gets to be too much and we just can’t take it anymore. Perhaps we mentally withdraw from our verbally abusive partner, start making arrangements for a life elsewhere, or leave altogether. Your breaking point when you leave a verbally abusive partner is the moment you’re forced to concede the situation is abusive — but how do you know when enough is enough?

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Why Can Giving Affection Trigger Verbal Abuse?

Why Can Giving Affection Trigger Verbal Abuse?

Giving affection can trigger verbal abuse in abusive relationships. Learn why abusers abuse us for loving them at HealthyPlace. Read this to learn why giving affection is your abuser's problem, not yours.

Giving affection to your abusive partner can trigger verbal abuse. Verbal abusers may lash out because they can’t give affection. Don’t get me wrong, they can provide acts of love when it suits them, but they aren’t able to give and receive affection mutually. Often, verbal abuse and problems with physical contact go hand in hand: abusers may withhold affection or contact from partners as punishment, or criticize them for being too affectionate or needy. But it all boils down to the same underlying problem. If there’s one thing my past relationship taught me, it’s that verbally abusive personality types can’t give affection in a healthy, mutually beneficial way, and this is why.

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Are You Verbally Abused When You’re Sick?

Are You Verbally Abused When You’re Sick?

Being verbally abused when we're sick makes everything worse. Why does verbal abuse happen even when we're ill? How can you deal with being verbally abused?

Have you been verbally abused when you were sick? It’s horrible. We have enough to deal with when we’re sick without being verbally abused when we’re at our most vulnerable. Feeling unwell and physically weak makes us sitting targets for gaslighting, emotional abuse and manipulation because we’re less likely to put up a fight. But is this part of the attraction to perpetrators or are we just more susceptible to abuse when our defenses are down? Let’s examine what we know about verbally abusive personality types and why they target us when we’re sick.

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Verbal Abuse and Depression: My Story

Verbal Abuse and Depression: My Story

Abuse and depression commonly occur together. But is depression an inevitable consequence of abuse? Or are depressed people more susceptible to abuse? The link between verbal abuse and depression is well known, but I didn’t realize I had depression until my verbally abusive relationship ended and I felt suicidal. It’s hard to write those words because they feel so alien to me now, but it shouldn’t be. It’s the truth — a truth that will resonate with anyone who’s ever been told by the person they love most that they’re not enough: not thin enough, not funny enough, not smart enough, or not enough to make someone happy. But was I  always prone to these feelings of depression and hopelessness, or were they triggered by the verbal and emotional abuse in my relationship?

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Dreams About Abuse and How I’m Using them to Recover

Dreams About Abuse and How I’m Using them to Recover

Dreams about abuse play an active role in recovery from relationship abuse. As bad as dreams about abuse are, is there something positive to be said for them?

I still have dreams about abuse despite the abusive relationship ending years ago and the progress I’ve made in my recovery from verbal and psychological abuse. Sometimes I am trapped in a house with him, unable to escape. Other times the roles are reversed: I become the abuser, and he is the one begging for my love and respect. But then there are the nightmares — the dreams so violent and terrifying that they take weeks to shake off. I’m sure these forays into my subconscious are simply my brain trying to process what happened, but the dreams about abuse always take me right back to the way I felt at the time of the relationship abuse, and sometimes they’re just downright confusing.

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Movies Romanticize Abuse Against Women: What’s the Danger?

Movies Romanticize Abuse Against Women: What’s the Danger?

Movies that romanticize abuse against women are alive and doing well in Hollywood. Learn about the dangerous consequences of romanticizing abuse in the movies.

Violence and verbal abuse against women are romanticized in many Hollywood movies, but perhaps none so blatantly as in Fifty Shades of Grey. Unsurprisingly, given the story originated from Twilight fan fiction, the popular erotic novel and subsequent movie smacks of emotional abuse. What are the real-life effects of movies that romanticize abuse against women?

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