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Why Verbal Abuse Is So Dangerous

Why Verbal Abuse Is So Dangerous

Verbal abuse is dangerous, and victims of verbal abuse are in danger. Let's examine the dangerous side-effects and stigmas of verbal abuse in relationships.

Most people think physical violence is more dangerous than verbal abuse in a relationship, but this is a misconception. It’s why we often hear well-meaning advice such as, “If an abuser’s behavior turns violent, it’s time to leave.” But should it have to get to this point before the abused person walks away? Emotional abuse and physical violence are not mutually exclusive — in fact, one is usually a precursor to the other. So, let’s explore the psychological side effects of verbal abuse, some of which have dangerous implications.

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Early Warning Signs of Verbal Abuse

Early Warning Signs of Verbal Abuse

Think you spot the warning signs of verbal abuse in your relationship? Here are the early warning signs of verbal abuse that most people miss.

Think you’ve spotted the early warning signs of verbal abuse in your relationship? If so, you’re not alone. I was in a volatile, abusive partnership for two years before I identified the signs, and by then the damage was already done. Like me, you probably know that any form of emotional abuse is insidious and highly destructive. You understand that this kind of psychological trauma can lead to depression, self-harm and even physical violence in a relationship. Unlike me, however, perhaps you can spot the warning signs of verbal abuse early on and put an end to the vicious cycle.

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Withholding Contact: When Silence Is Worse Than Verbal Abuse

Withholding Contact: When Silence Is Worse Than Verbal Abuse

Withholding contact can affect us more than verbal abuse and make us feel like we don't matter. So why do abusers withhold contact and how can we stop it?

Withholding contact is something your partner could do that could make you feel worse than hearing his verbal abuse. Picture yourself in a relationship in which there are no violent outbursts, no explosive fits of rage, no words thrown at you like hand grenades, in which your only punishments are silence and deprivation. It may sound like a favorable option to anyone on the frontline of a verbally abusive relationship, but so-called “withholding” is a particularly insidious method of abuse that deprives us of our basic comforts and makes us feel less than human. Here’s why verbal abusers withhold verbal and physical contact, and how to respond.

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After Verbal Abuse Ends, There’s Still Left-Over Anxiety

After Verbal Abuse Ends, There’s Still Left-Over Anxiety

After verbal abuse, anxiety tends to overshadow our instincts. How can we learn to trust ourselves after verbal abuse when we can't tell the difference?

After verbal abuse, my mental health didn’t automatically return to normal. The first year after my verbally abusive relationship ended was tough. Not only did I struggle with the after-effects of verbal abuse — namely anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem — I also met someone new (let’s call him A) and fell in love all over again. A was everything I had ever wanted in a partner and my instincts were telling me “he’s the one” from the day we met. So why couldn’t I let myself be happy? With my verbal abuser firmly out of the picture, why was I still plagued with anxiety? Mental health problems may follow us long after verbal abuse ends.

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What Are the Signs Your Verbal Abuser Is a Narcissist?

What Are the Signs Your Verbal Abuser Is a Narcissist?

Are all verbal abusers narcissists? Knowing if your verbal abuser is a narcissist may aid your recovery from abuse. Here's how it helps and what to look for.

If your verbal abuser is a narcissist, what are the signs? As we know, it’s important to spot the signs of verbal abuse early on in a relationship. However, recognizing the issue is only part of the process; gaining insight into your verbally abusive relationship can be the start of the emotional healing process, but how do you begin to understand it? There are many complex reasons why verbal abuse happens, but personality disorders are among the most common. Realizing you’re in a verbally abusive relationship with a narcissist can be a real light-bulb moment, so what are the signs?

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How It Feels When Your Verbal Abuser Is a Nice Guy

How It Feels When Your Verbal Abuser Is a Nice Guy

It's almost impossible for others to comprehend that Mr. Nice Guy could be your abuser. How could someone so charming be abusive? But in fact, it's common.Here’s how it feels when people tell you that your verbally abusive ex-boyfriend is a “nice guy.” At first, it makes you doubt yourself, as if you could have made the whole thing up or that you must be overreacting. It feels as though the whole world is reinforcing the idea that well-established, charismatic men cannot possibly be held accountable for abuse. It’s frustrating and maddening that no one is willing to recognize the pain he inflicted on you. You cry, shout, and doubt yourself some more. But then you stop being angry. You stop expecting others to understand. Instead, you nod and smile and make peace with what you know to be true. And here’s to deal with it when your verbal abuser is a nice guy.

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Ending Verbal Abuse: Five Steps to Take

Ending Verbal Abuse: Five Steps to Take

Ending verbal abuse isn't easy. Verbal abuse leads to long-term emotional damage, but how do we end the cycle? Here are five ideas on ending verbal abuse.

So, you’ve spotted the signs of verbal abuse in your relationship and you want to end the verbal abuse. You know that blaming, shaming, threatening and name-calling does not equate to a happy or healthy partnership. You realize that maybe — just maybe — you deserve better. So how do you make it stop? Is ending verbal abuse possible?

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Can You Save Your Abuser’s New Girlfriend From Abuse?

Can You Save Your Abuser’s New Girlfriend From Abuse?

Is it your job to warn your abuser's new girlfriend of his abuse? If so, is there a way of protecting her without compromising your own safety? Read this.

One of the questions many abuse victims will ask themselves is, “Is it my job to warn my abuser’s new girlfriend of his behavior?” And I must admit, this has stumped me every time it’s been brought up in the comments section of a Verbal Abuse in Relationships blog post. When my abusive boyfriend broke up with me, I swiftly deleted him from all of my social media accounts. We also lived in different cities, so when he did meet someone else I didn’t know about it until months afterward. But when the inevitable photos of him with other women found their way into my news feed, I couldn’t help wondering if it was my job to warn my abuser’s new girlfriend of what he was capable of.

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The Invisible Line Between Verbal and Physical Abuse

The Invisible Line Between Verbal and Physical Abuse

When it comes to verbal and physical abuse, can words hurt us the same as a fist? Sticks and stones . . . are broken bones worse than a broken soul?

The distinction between verbal and physical abuse is something I have questioned ever since my abusive relationship ended. My ex-partner shoved me, pushed me, kicked me and forced me out of his way when we argued. He raised his fist and made threats, but never actually hit me. Does this mean I was verbally, physically abused or both? I think the answer depends on where we, as individuals, draw the line.

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Easy Targets for Verbal Abuse: Why Me?

Easy Targets for Verbal Abuse: Why Me?

Are some people easy targets for verbal abuse? When I look back at my 20-year-old self, I see an easy target for abuse. Knowing that can protect me. Here's why.Could you be an easy target for verbal abuse? Or have you ever wondered why you were verbally abused in a relationship? By that, I don’t just mean why your partner was abusive, but more specifically why he picked you as his target. The general consensus seems to be that anyone can fall prey to an abuser, but is that really the case, or are some people more susceptible to emotional abuse and manipulation than others? Are some of us easy targets for verbal abuse?

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