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Language of Love Omitted From Abusive Relationships

Language of Love Omitted From Abusive Relationships

In abusive relationships, the language of love becomes merely a useful tool for your abuser to manipulate. You can't trust it, & you may forget it. Here's why.

The language of love may have been present at the beginning of my abusive marriage. Honestly, I don’t remember. The language of abuse pulled me into negative thinking about my ex-husband, myself, our family, and all dreams I once held dear to my heart.

Over time, the words we used as a couple became harsh and either black or white – there was no in between and definitely no love (Verbal Abuse Turns Love Into a Tool of Abuse). Every situation became a problem to solve (his way) and every dream disappeared (because I believed him when he said I didn’t live in reality). The language of love ceased to exist.

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CBT and Imagery to Stop Anxiety (Anxious-Avoidance Part II)

CBT and Imagery to Stop Anxiety (Anxious-Avoidance Part II)

The issue is that whilst my internal anxiety alarm* is going off like a Trade Unionist in Wisconsin any other feelings I might have are being drowned out. (*Part I)

Talking about a revolution. Stop anxiety

For all that I may believe in the validity of my anxiety, it comes with far too many unreasonable expectations. I cannot meet them all, which really just makes it a loud, obnoxious sidekick I could do without.

I can’t evict my anxiety disorder (chronic PTSD), unfortunately. So I’ve had to find ways ways to fool it: to get my mind thinking as I may not always believe, or to switch racing, anxious thoughts and frustrations onto a different track.

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Spring Exacerbates Many Psychiatric Symptoms (Part 1)

Spring Exacerbates Many Psychiatric Symptoms (Part 1)

Ah, spring. The days get longer, the nights get shorter. Warm breezes threaten the remaining snow drifts from winter’s storms. Almost as soon as the groundhog sees its shadow, swimsuits and light jackets appear in stores. Valentine’s candy is replaced by Easter candy and all the bunnies, green grass, and baby chicks you can handle. Even if you live under a rock and miss all these signs, you’ll know spring is on its way when you call your child’s therapist and find her booked through mid-July. It seems spring not only brings out the birds, bunnies and chocolate eggs with gooey filling. It also brings out the crazy.

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Bipolar Steals Brain Cycles

Bipolar Steals Brain Cycles

My brain is a finite resource. Well, the grey, gooey thing in the skull is finite for everyone. But my brain’s ability to think reasonably is a finite resource. When I write it thinks, thinks, thinks, and then there is a dramatic thud.

My brain then stops thinking.

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Treating ADHD: More than Medication

Treating ADHD: More than Medication

ADHD is a genetic, neurobiological disorder characterized by disregulation of attention, not an inability to pay attention as is commonly thought. In other words, adults and children living with ADHD are able to focus, but they cannot control when they focus. Laura MacNiven, an ADHD coach and our guest on this week’s HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show, explains that urgency activates the ability to focus, pointing out that adults with ADHD work well under pressure. In fact, she says, “If it’s harnessed appropriately it can help you. If not, it can hurt you.” Treating ADHD according to the individual’s needs and degree of symptom severity using a variety of approaches often makes a big difference in how disruptive ADHD is or isn’t in the lives of those living with it. ADHD coaching can be a vital part of that treatment.

What Is ADHD Coaching?

laura_macnivenLaura MacNiven, M.Ed. is the Director of Health Education at Springboard, an innovative ADHD clinic that combines medical and educational services to assess and treat focusing challenges in youth and adults. Treating ADHD, she says, often involves a combination of medication and ADHD coaching. As an ADHD coach, she works with individuals and families to explore and identify physical, social, emotional and academic/vocational areas of need.

Laura joined us on the HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show to discuss the unique challenges ADHD presents and how ADHD coaching can substantially improve the lives of those with it. Successfully living with ADHD isn’t just about medication. Watch and learn more about what an ADHD coach does, and how one might be able to help you.

Video on ADHD Coaching

Watch our video interview with Laura MacNiven as she talks about treating ADHD and her work as an ADHD coach on How An ADHD Coach Can Help You.

You can find all mental health video interviews from the HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show in the table of contents.

Share Your ADHD Experiences

Have you been diagnosed with ADHD? How do you navigate the challenges of living with ADHD? Is ADHD coaching a part of your treatment plan? What other tools do you use to manage your ADHD symptoms? We invite you to call us at 1-888-883-8045 and share your experiences and insights on treating ADHD. (Info on Sharing Your Mental Health Experiences here.) You can also leave comments below.

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The Competitive World of Parenting

Whenever a bunch of parents congregate with their children, one thing is inevitable: a little bit of competition flares up amongst the sticky sippy cups and cookie crumbs. Now, I’m not a competitive person by nature—you could run circles around me on the track field or beat me in a game of Scrabble, and it wouldn’t faze or bother me a bit. But when it comes to my daughter, my own flesh and blood, I can’t help by compare her development to other toddlers her age.

The Competitive World of Parenting

Whenever a bunch of parents congregate with their children, one thing is inevitable: a little bit of competition flares up amongst the sticky sippy cups and cookie crumbs. Now, I’m not a competitive person by nature—you could run circles around me on the track field or beat me in a game of Scrabble, and it wouldn’t faze or bother me a bit. But when it comes to my daughter, my own flesh and blood, I can’t help but compare her development to other toddlers her age.

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The Concept of God and Severity of Symptoms

the concepts of an Authoritarian God and a Benevolent God have a powerful impact on the severity of symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). … All I know is that under the Authoritarian God I had no hope, and under the Benevolent God I do. What about you?

The Concept of God and Severity of Symptoms

In 2007, Baylor University released a controversial study detailing Americans’ concepts of God.

According to this study, 91.8 percent of Americans believe in some sort of Higher Power. Four distinct concepts emerged, and these concepts spanned religions. The person’s concept of God was a stronger predictor of his/her moral beliefs than denominational or political affiliation.

  • 31.4 percent believed in an Authoritarian God, who is actively involved in human affairs in order to judge people and punish wrongdoing
  • 23 percent believed in a Benevolent God, who is actively involved in human affairs and loves to love, help, and forgive
  • 16 percent believed in a Critical God, who watches with a judgmental eye but does not intervene
  • 24.4 percent believed in a Distant God, who created the world and left it to its own designs

Based on this Baylor graduate’s experience, the concepts of an Authoritarian God and a Benevolent God have a powerful impact on the severity of symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD).

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Managing Self-Sabotaging Behaviors Part 3: Compromise

Managing Self-Sabotaging Behaviors Part 3: Compromise

Managing the self-sabotaging behaviors that make life with Dissociative Identity Disorder so difficult doesn’t mean getting rid of them. It means learning to live with them; recognizing and investing in the opportunities for growth inherent in self-sabotage. For me, that requires (1) acceptance of those behaviors, no matter how repugnant, (2) honest communication devoid of the power struggle that characterizes instinctual responses to self-sabotage, and (3) welcoming compromises that allow me to keep moving. When I discovered an alter was blocking internal communication, I was surprised to learn that all three of those things are possible. But it was the compromise that amazed me the most, and ultimately changed my life.

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Living with the Cycle of Anxious-Avoidance, Trying to Get Out (Part I)

Living with the Cycle of Anxious-Avoidance, Trying to Get Out (Part I)

People who experience anxiety often get stuck in the cycle of avoidance, leaving them feeling trapped, like they can’t do anything about their anxiety. For want of better options, they hide – from it, and in many cases, from the world.

Having an anxiety disorder is like having a hateful, hyperactive internal alarm system; It only detects the judge, not the jury. The verdict is practically irrelevant: you already know it’s guilty. Like predictive text for panic disorders.

That alarm doesn’t care about the guy flirting with you, or the reassuring smile the waitress gives.

What sensations, ideas, emotions, experiences make up anxiety?

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Is Acting Like the Abuser a Side-Effect of the Abuse?

Is Acting Like the Abuser a Side-Effect of the Abuse?

Where do we draw the line between defending ourselves and acting like the abuser? The cycle of abuse takes two participants. When will you stop participating?

I watched The Burning Bed this week. Farrah Fawcett plays abused wife Francine Hughes who murdered her husband after suffering years of abuse. In court, Sarah Hughes was found innocent by reason of temporary insanity (Battered Woman Syndrome).

After watching the movie, I wanted to find out more about the case and ran across an interview in which a man from the Hughes’ town said that Francine beat her husband, too. He saw her beating him right there on the sidewalk outside his door and the police were called to separate them.

My stomach felt sick. His viewpoint of the Hughes’ fight reflected the views of many people looking into an abusive relationship – the victim dished it out as good as she got. They’re both at fault (What Are Victims Responsible for in an Abusive Relationship?).

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