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Feeling Alone, But Not Being Alone

Published in psychology, mental illness, mental health, healthyplace by Amanda_HP | 04 Mar, 2009Print PDF

Today, I just noticed a cool little thing the tech folks here at HealthyPlace.com added to the homepage.  It's a rolling counter of how many people are on the site.  It's located just under the newsletter signup on the right hand side and is titled "Who's Online."  I saw the number 2,739.

One of the things that many with a mental illness believe is that they are alone in their experiences and feelings.  I can certainly understand that because, even today in the year 2009, many are stigmatized by having a mental illness and therefore do not talk to anyone about what is going on.  But what seeing that counter validated to me is that the signature line that we use in our emails is so true:  "When you're at HealthyPlace.com, you're never alone."

Imagine!  In a rolling 60 minute period, 2,739 people were on HealthyPlace.com, all searching for information and support to help them deal with a mental health concern.  In one day, over 40,000 people come to HealthyPlace.

What I'm getting at is that HealthyPlace.com and the HealthyPlace Mental Health Support Network are really a microcosm of the real world.  There are millions of people (The National Institute of Mental Health estimates 30M in the U.S.) out there, just like you and me, walking around, probably feeling like they are the "only one," but in reality they, and you, are far from being alone.

Feel free to add your thoughts on my comment board below.

(P.S. The HealthyPlace Support Network has been open for one month.  We have just over 900 members.  Drop by a few people's boards.  Introduce yourself, add them as a friend, write a blog post, keep a journal, participate on the boards.  Invite others you know to join us here. You are not alone.  Let others here, and elsewhere, know they are not alone either.)



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Comments (28)add comment
March 08, 2009

terrbear said:

Hi, I have soo much to say, I don't know what to do anymore. I am self recovering alcoholic sober since 3-24-2008. I am a 45 yr old who though I had everything going on.(wrong) I was functioning addict, just like my friends are. I had a great job for 15yrs, with the St of MN. I started to take antipresents with Vodka,getting dui's. So, I put my self in Hazelden(terrible mistake). from then I got worse, pronounced dead twice. Now, I realize, I can't do this alone. I need a group or individual people to talk to online or a group to go to talk to people, who have been there and know what I have been threw, because I have no friends I can talk to about me. However, I live with 2 roomates who drink and don't want to talk to me about that stuff. I am now on disablilty, but can still walk. I am totally starting over with everything and everyone .I really think talking to someone other than a professional would be helpful to me and them. Thanks for listening.
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March 09, 2009

Corne said:

I only read this entry now and I have to say, sometimes I believe timing is part of life's purpose. If I read it the 4th when you wrote it, it would not really mean that much to me as it does today.
Just last night I was in tears as I told one of the girls in my church that the worst thing about mental illness is the loneliness. I will write more about that in my journal today, but the fact is: I DO feel alone all the time. It does seem as if no-one understands or even cares.
Thanks for this entry. You're right: This is a place where we should learn not to feel alone, as all of us knows what it's about.
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March 10, 2009

terrbear said:

Hi Corne, I am really glad you replied. It really is hard to find people who understand us, and why we do or don't do the things we did. We all have our reasons, but, nobody thinks, they are good reasons. I can't even talk to my friends or family. They don't want to hear it or understand either. I listen to Joel Olsteen, the inspirational speaker alot. He makes alot of sense to me. Just do the best you can, make everyday as if it were your last. TRY TO BE HAPPY TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
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March 10, 2009

terrbear said:

Hi again, I just wanted to add by saying, you can send me e-mails when ever you feel it. I will always listen. Thanxs
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March 10, 2009

GRAMMYBEV said:

I HAVE THE SAME FEELING AT TIMES. I LIVE ALONE AND AM RETIRED. WHEN I WAS WORKING, I DIDN'T FEEL ALONE, BUT I AM ON SOME DEPRESSION MED AND ANXIETY MED WHICH HELPS SOME. FEEL FREE TO WRITE ME ANYTIME AND I WILL LISTEN AND HOPE WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER IN OUR FEELINGS. I KNOW WE ARE ALWAYS WITH GOD AND HE DOESN'T WANT US TO BE SAD AND ALONE.
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March 10, 2009

terrbear said:

Hi Grammy, Thank you for responding. I think if we (anyone who wants to talk) we will all help each other with listening, be honest, have suggestions, that others haven't thought of. for now, be well in body and soul. and know that I am always here for you. I will talk to ya all tomarrow.
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March 10, 2009

nic said:

my husband suggested i try this site because i am struggling with life right now. i am a victim of many forms of abuse. i am not ready for the face to face therapy stuff and he sggested this as a way to ready myself for that. i feel so alone and the numbers alone dont help. i need someone to talk to that has been there and done that.
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March 11, 2009

terrbear said:

Hey Grammy, I know how you feel. My Psychiatrist referred me to another one. I asked her if she has ever been so overcome and no where to go any addicions or sad emmotions. Over course she said "No" but she went to school. I have already been to enough of them. It's good to know. there are people like us who care for each other to say what's on our mind. without people thinking your a freak! I did find out some info. Call 2.1.1. United way. or liveunited@org. I am going to try tomarrow. Have a nice evening and take care.
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March 17, 2009

season said:

Hi
I'm feeling really badly and don't know if I can survive that (really).
Have been through too much (still).
This website looks good, and some of the comments are really helpful.
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April 09, 2009

missmiew42 said:

Hi Terrbear,
What a nice name you gave yourself,just your name says it all to me,terr,meaning your tearing yourself apart,bear that means your are a loving person.Saying you would not even hurt a fly.
If ever you need to talk,chat or write just to get it off your mind or chest,what IS really bothering you,drinking(called self medicating)or not,just email me OK.
Michelle(missmiew42)
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April 23, 2009

TooStarry said:

I was told by a doctor at 25 I was Bipolar
I just want to know now that I'm in my very late 40 will this illness ever go away?
Can I have this until I die, my life is confusing anyhow, even threw I take medcinde
I dont feel no happier, I hope someone know something
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April 23, 2009

TooStarry said:

I too can never tell people I have a illness they just dont understand, My husband know I have mood swings and get depress a lot or have high moods, but he think I'm so sweet as a person that he too dont understand.
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April 27, 2009

Nebraskamelissa said:

Hi, I'm a little unsure how to do this but I'm tired of talking with counselors who try to sterotype my family and I. They seem to not listen, really listen. I have been a victim of abuse (childhood and adult)and there is currently a criminal matter involving my ex-spouse abusing my children. As soon as I knew, he was arrested. Everyday is different and you don't know how you will feel from minute-to-minute. I'm hoping this site will help.
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June 13, 2009

hendo said:

this is my first time on here i have a lot of stuff going on but i have been an addict drugs/alchol ive managed to stay clean for 10 years now but still now i find it hard like alot of people i feel very lonely even though im married with a little girl i find it hard to make freinds and i always think people judge me just coz i suffer from a mental illness anyway if any 1 would like to talk feel free to email me bye for now. x
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July 12, 2009

lotusgirl said:

i just joined healthy place and am excited to be a part of this online community, but i'm not sure as to how to get the support and help that i need for my depression...i've been pretty socially shut off for a while, but i'm trying to find a support group that can help me and that can also use my support...it would be nice to feel like i'm part of a community again...
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July 16, 2009

tmac87 said:

I am pregnant and constantly depressed for no reason the only thing that has helped me to snap out of it is the ect but everyone i know thinks im crazy for doing it. i dont want to keep on cutting i want to move on with life and be happy sometimes it seems that its to much to ask for.
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July 16, 2009

Roberta said:

Feeling alone but not alone..Is the subject right?
I am alone and always be alone.I am an only child,I am alone.I was a mentally abused child still alone,I played with pupets as a child to help myself,but still not satisfied with life,I have been throught hell as an adult(physically and mentally abused),all my life.
Drugs,drinks,anything... you name it to be happy,.
I tried suicide, 3 times at the age of 14-35
God doesn't want me right now.
I am alone still.
But always about relationships.
So know 42 years old and I am here to help.
I think that is the question we should all ask ourselves!
I Have O.C.D and other related problems that go with that,So I decided to help.Hope it works.I will take a course in tearchers aide to help other children that went throught the same problems as me,wish me luck.
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August 24, 2009

mamasmurf28 said:

I'm brand new to this site. I was recently discharged from my first (and hopefully last) inpatient mental health stay. It was the worst and the best thing that could have happened to me at the same time. I noticed that while around people who were struggling with the same issues, fears and feelings I was, I felt connected again. A feeling I had lost so long ago. This gave me strength, courage and motivation. I've been out of the hospital for four days now and I'm slowly losing those positive feelings. I'll do anything to get better and help others in the process. All suggestions, questions or comments are welcome
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September 03, 2009

toughnugget said:

I'm new to this site but like u all,I to feel at times very lonely. I have an anxiety problem that is really not a very good friend. I to like alot of others it is easier to be a typist than 1to 1 chat.If anyone would like to chat to me I'll listen.
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September 03, 2009

toughnugget said:

Nic
you will get through those hard times of abuse
Ihave had various form of abuse throughout my life as well and yeah u will have bad days and better days as well. Please contact me by email when you are up to it for a chat and a friendly shoulder.
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September 03, 2009

toughnugget said:

Roberta

good luck in your chosen path!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am also a teachers aid of special needs children at a local public school, and yeah it's very rewarding.
I need to say this to you don't do it to make you feel better do it because of the love of it.( no ofence)
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September 03, 2009

Lonely12 said:

I just discovered this site. Need to give and get support. It's good to know there are good people out here, yea, we know about pain and too much about suffering-sometimes it seems that makes us much more understanding and compassionate people than others. It is hard to find friends that really care and can get what we're talking about. Good counselors are hard to find too.
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September 27, 2009

bales1021 said:

I have always felt alone in a crowd. Even as a teen I never felt like I fit into any where.I still fell this way. I feel uncomfortable around people I feel are successful and ashamed because I am 57 and disabled. the one thing I am proud of is my education. After getting BP at 49 I started collge and now I am working on my Masters but it is on line so here I am again isolated and alone. I have a great partner also Bp he tyeaches at the college but beyond him my isolation is sometimes unbearable. So alone within my head is a place many would not like top be. I am happist when I am creative. I am sure you understand that one. I have decided to start going to the local support group for social support and to meet people. Dont yopu think that would be a good idea?
Peace
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October 07, 2009

cheryl1961 said:

I can truly relate to feeling alone but not being alone. I am also disabled due to lots of different medical problems, and so severe depression and anxiety follwed. I am only 48 and feel so ridiulous, ashamed and embarassed to tell people that I am disabled. It seems if you ever start talkig to anyone that is one of the first questions they ask, I know they don't do it to be nosey or rude it is just an everyday topic, but people will look at you like you are crazy if you say you are disabled and able to walk. But to go on with my story, I have lupus, back and neck problems, fibromyalgia, kidney disease, depression, anxiety, chronic colitis, and other problems but I will stop here. I was sexually abused as a child, grew up in a extremely dysfunctional home with both parents and three brothers. I came here to make some friends and hopefully find some people who understands what I have been through and am going through now. It seems my whole life has been one big catastrophie after the other. So it is really hard for me to make friends. I don't get to talk to my two best friends because one of them moved to PA and I live in GA, she goes to school and works, my other friend is married and works. I am single, mother of two grown beautiful girls (27 and 25 years old) and now am waiting for the arrival of my first grandbaby, Addyson, who will hopefully be arriving on the 30th of November, my daughter is being induced. Sorry this is so long.
Please feel free to go to my page I haven't written a blog or anything yet, now I dont have to lol.
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October 14, 2009

coopstah said:

Nic: I want to address you directly ....i can understand you comepletely i have been through many forms of abuse myself...it's had a tremendous emotional impact on my marriage...my wife is still with me today and is a loving and forgiving woman.I'm in recovery for alcoholism and for a long time i drove my wife to the breaking point that i thought she would certainly divorce me..but this is not about me this is about you and your pain....i know its difficult for you right now..(i will tell you im in therapy for the last 6 years its helped me beyond anything i could have ever imagined) i know you're in alot of pain, you probably feel like a failure...you're NOT , i can only guess you are afraid and want help yet, you don't know how to get it....well you have already gotten it...you're reaching out by coming to this forum.

Clearly your husband loves you very much for him to suggest you come visit here and talk about how you're feeling and to somehow get in touch with your past...i know the abuse you suffered is something that you really need to seek a professional that specializes in trauma work because i can attest to the FACT that once you start the journey of pyschotherapy and delve into the why's and how you feel the way you do...your life will open up to a world of such promise and hope that i was blessed with and i know when i felt that joy i never looked back.

Finally i may not know you , but i can say this ...we are SURVIVORS of a horrific past that was NOT OUR fault...and one day you will be able to say that ( which is not say you think it is ) but until that day we can hold our heads up and remember no matter what, we are good people who matter today....i wish you well.If you want to stay in touch i encourage you to reply, if not thats ok to otherwise you take care and i wish you all the best, truly i do.

Rich C.
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October 28, 2009

Cassy said:

im 18 years old.
i have an expansive history of depression, ptsd, drug abuse, suicide attempts, and self harm.
i've been to rehab three times, and none of it has really worked... even with full compliance...
i just felt more lost.
i have an extremely bi-polar mom, who is verbaly and seldomly physicaly abusive....
i've just been taught to kiss her ass when she's manic... and it fucking sucks... not to mention, it doesnt work for me...
i've concluded that avoidance is my best bet...
i feel that everyone expects me to just forgive my mom, because "she cant help it"
but i know she knows she can help it when she's not manic. she doesnt even care who she hurts...
and if she does, then why doesnt she do anything to help repair the damage?
i'm so sick of everyone telling me that its ok cause my mom "cant help it"
its not okay!
i'm not okay!

- cassy
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November 18, 2009

kmondo13 said:

I am always alone. even when i'm with someone, i feel eons apart from them. i want to scream, or curl into a ball and disappear. How can it always hurt so much and how can i always seem lost? why can i not take control and stop playing victim? even now as I know i shouldn't feel sorry for myself- i still feel sorry for myself and feel even more alone. I am ashamed to be me.
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November 21, 2009

shelli said:

I AM NEW TO THIS SIGHT I AM VERY ALONE THESE DAYS ,NOW THAT I DON'T PARTY ANYMORE.I GUESS PEOPLE ONLY WANT TO BE AROUND WHEN YOU HAVE DRUGS OR MONEY. SO HERE I SIT TRYING TO REACH OUT TO SOMEONE WHO CAN UNDERSTAND THIS AS WELL .IM 46 YRS.YOUNG ,AND I KNOW THAT LIFE HAS SO MANY GREAT THINGS TO OFFER I JUST AM TIRED OF BEING ALONE BECAUSE I AM CLEAN AND TRYING TO FIND TRUE LIFE MEANING.SO IF YOUR FEELING LIKE THIS TO LETS GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER.
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