The inherent thing is that we all want to live. We want to have the things that would like for a comfortable life, but basically we want to keep breathing and walking and such. Like Helen I have stopped because of my wife and children, literally a struggle in the mind over what i saw as a solution and what my family would think, do and the mental effect on them. The last time I made myself walk back to my friends shop and sit with him and his sales manager for an hour, didn't say what i nearly had done, but it helped. We need people to talk to, to be with, to share our feelings, our fears. Even with people around we can be very alone, but we need them.Doing this now I have a very heavy tired heart. Sales have been rubbish this week, not just for me but for most retailers, which makes it harder to do the things I need to do. And someone has just dropped a bit of a bombshell on me, which I can fix but just shows how mean minded some people are. It is supposed to be the busy season but it is not. I need some new batteries, more customers and better weather.
Heigh ho, there is always next week.

Im glad also.Life can be difficult,but we need to find a way to cope.Sometimes you just feel empty and worthless.I dont feel that way anymore.Take care everyone:)
Sergio

My husband says, that what kept him going through the worst times with me, was my wish and effort to change myself.

I would add: It also helped that by the time I met him, I was free of feministic ideas. Many times I just did what he said. My reason was not working, so I used his reason. I personally think that feminism is out of date. It's time for cooperation between men and women. That's my opinion.

Helen

So, Sergio - since you started this discussion, it seems like you saved your life yourself. I am glad you haven't driven off a cliff.

Yea, it's really the people around us that love and understand us that prevent us from making the suicide. When I was suicidal, it was the thought: "But I can't hurt my husband or my parents or my brother," that always prevented me from jumping into a very cold and deep river. So I can understand very lonely people that actually commit a suicide.

Of course Sergio, you are not alone - you have your mother and your girl-friend. And at last but not least - you have this group. And we have you. Thanks for your support and company.

Helen

Oh, I hate spelling mistakes, clams!!! Sergio started this discussion I just changed the lower case b to an upper case B when replying to him and it changed. My daughter always knew when i was on the computer talking to her when she was at University as i spelt everything right and put in punctuation and capitals. It's a habit, got beaten into me at school, but a good one. And as a bookseller words are important. But Sergio started this.
Chargers. Super Bowl? We can dream.

Relationships with people with our condition is very tough. My wife told me i was the most unconfident person she has met in her life. Probably brought out the maternal instinct in her. She has learnt over the last 30 years that this is something we have to cope with and she is beginning to understand. Like Sergio says to stay upbeat is hard and i have had to do that with my children over the last 25 years. They are confident young people. I think we do try and put on a stronger persona in front of others and i would imagine that quite a lot of people do the same even if they are "normal".
To have an understanding other half is great and i think you are a very fortunate woman Helen that you chose a good one and he chose you. It is not easy for them to deal with depressive cycles and to see you fighting your demons they want to help but don't know how to, though it is knowing that you need someone to be there, to hold you, to comfort you and to help you is basically what you need. My wife and I have started going for long walks in the country. it is nice to be togther, the country soothes you and walking is a great way to exercise and helps combat depression. She loves walking and the country anyway so it is good for both of us and she feels she is helping which she is.
I am glad you haven't driven off a cliff. Sergio. This could be the year your Chargers make it to the Super Bowl and you may of missed it. but it proves a point that we need to talk amongst ourselves as it gets things out of your system and clams people down. It is tough going at the moment for me but if it was not for this group I would be far worse.
Thanks

Hello everyone:) My depression seems to be getting a little better.I just try my best to keep busy and count my blessings.I have bein through a lot of bad things in the past .I beleive things happen for a reason,its made me who i am today.Sometimes my girlfriend asks me how do i manage to be upbeat even though things are really bad.I really dont know how to answer that.Im usually the funny guy in the group,even though something is bothering me.I guess it helps me forget.
I also look back when i started in this group and i was a mess.I felt like i couuld not go on any longer.Thanks to some kind people in here i didnt drive off a cliff.
Once again thank you all ,and one way or another we can get past this.
Sergio

When I met my husband, I was already diagnosed. I told him about my schizoaffective disorder on our first date. I mentioned a self-help group. He asked: "Why do you go there?" I answered: "Because I am nuts." He said: "You don't look nuts to me." I said: "Now I am normal, but I had some psychotic periods with hallucinations." He smiled and said: "That's nothing special. I once read about a guy that thought he was hallucinating, but it was his tooth-filling that functioned as an receiver for a radio signal." And that was it. We are still together - 10 years. I would never have ended up with such a great guy, if I was "normal". I scared some away before him - thanks god!

Helen

Helen

Melanie!

If I were you, I would wait a few months before dating. You need rest, since your bp rapid cycling was only one month ago. No need to hurry.

On the other hand - don't worry about the stigma. Actually it's useful. It scares away the ones that don't admire you for who you really are. That means you can only end up in the relationship with "the right guy".

The past bp rapid cycling is not who you really are. Those were just some chemical imbalances. As far as I know you from your comments here, you are a very nice, warm person, that respects people for who they are and always finds the right words to confort them. So when "the right guy" comes along, he'll be the luckiest guy in the States :) It might take some time, but he'll show up sooner or later.

Take care
Helen

Take care
Helen

Hi 2bsadngone!

Welcome to our discussion Bad day, that was started by Colin. We are very talkative, so you won't be bored I can assure you :)

Take care
Helen