Sex When You're Elderly - Adaptations for Women and Men

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

Adaptations for men

Here are some thoughts for older men:

Be patient: Realize that more stimulation is required to achieve an erection. If you can't achieve a satisfying or effective erection despite prolonged manual stimulation, you may be one of many men who experience erectile dysfunction. But don't give up. See your doctor, who may either treat you her/himself or refer you to a urologist (see 'Medications' below).

For men with heart disease: Men who have heart disease may be particularly concerned about whether sex will put too much strain on their heart, and men who have had a heart attack or heart surgery wonder when or if they can ever resume sexual activity. You should discuss this with your doctor. For the most part, sexual activity may be resumed within about two to four weeks after a heart attack. If you can climb two flights of stairs without chest pain or shortness of breath, you should be able to engage in sexual activity without concern, as this is more vigorous exercise than having sex. If you are prone to chest pain with sex, discuss taking a nitroglycerine tablet under the tongue before sex, and experiment with positions to find one that is less physically demanding for you

Medications

If you are taking medications and think that one of the medications may be impairing your sexual performance, be sure to discuss it with your doctor. Let him or her know that sexual activity is important to you. Frequently, other medications can be substituted that have less effect on sexual activity.

Testosterone: If you would like to be more sexually active, but find that your libido is impaired, you might possibly benefit from testosterone. I think that testosterone has been greatly overblown as a potential enhancer of strength, energy, and overall well being, but it has been shown to improve sexual performance in men who have low testosterone levels, and to increase libido when taken in small doses by women. Ask your doctor about whether you should be evaluated for this option.

Viagra (sildenafil citrate), Levitra (vardenafil HCI), Cialis (tadalafil): If you are suffering from one of many treatable medical conditions that cause impotence, a medical evaluation is indicated, and you can be helped. Some examples of diseases that interfere with sexual response are diabetes, thyroid disease, and depression. Once you have had a thorough medical evaluation, you may well benefit from a medical treatment for impotence. The one everyone has heard about is Viagra (sildenafil citrate). Viagra (sildenafil citrate) is a chemical substance called silendafil, which acts by inhibiting the action of a phosphodiesterase, which ends erection. The phosphodiesterase works by breaking down cGMP, the substance that relaxes penile muscles, thereby drawing blood into the penis and causing erection. Viagra (sildenafil citrate), along with it's newer cousins Levitra (vardenafil HCI) and Cialis (tadalafil), have been shown to be very effective for many different types of erectile dysfunction. It is relatively safe, except that it cannot be taken by men who use nitrates for heart disease.

Alternatives to Viagra (sildenafil citrate) for men: If Viagra (sildenafil citrate) is not an option for one reason or another, there are other medications that can be tried. Some involve application into the urethra, or injection into the penis. Some men benefit from a vacuum pump device to aid in erection, and others may choose the surgical implantation of a penile prosthesis. If you are considering any of these options, be sure to see a urologist who is expert in this field.

Positions to Try

Experiment with different positions if pain, strength, or endurance is an issue for you. Some options are:

• The "spoon position", in which both partners lie on their sides, the woman with her back to the man, is great for intimacy with or without intercourse.

• The woman on her back and the man at a right angle to her on his side.

• The person with less strength or endurance on her/his back, with the stronger partner kneeling above.

Conclusion

If you are interested in being sexually active, with or without engaging in intercourse, and the above suggestions are not sufficient to help you achieve the level of activity you desire, ask for help. Your primary care doctor, urologist, or gynecologist may be able to help, or may refer you to a sex therapist.

Don't fall into the ageist trap of thinking that sex is only for the young. Sexuality in your older years is all about breaking down stereotypes, open communication, individual choices, and embarking on a path of wonderful self-discovery. Enjoy!

next: Sex and the Older Man