A Sexual Olympic Champion, Huh?
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Sex has so many facets to it, you will find the more you learn, the more possibilities remain. But let me assure both of you that you can dramatically improve your sex lives. Intimate sex can provide the answers and give you a whole new outlook. But for this to happen, you must be willing to “relearn sex”.
Sensual intimacy is an incredibly powerful glue that can bond the two of you together. If you reshape your attitudes towards sex, it can become the highlight of your relationship.
Once your mind is “re-tooled” on this subject, then you can begin to concentrate on improving your techniques. At the final stages of your learning experience, both of you will begin to retrain your bodies so that you can respond on a whole new and higher level than you ever thought possible.
Sex Class 101
1. Why does sex “go bad”? Think back for a moment to the beginning of your relationship together. Men, you first became involved, your woman was in love with you and sex was exciting to her. Why is that? It is probably because you wined and dined her. You brought her flowers and offered her gifts (perhaps including diamonds and gold). You probably verbalized to her how beautiful she was and declared your undying affection. In short, she felt loved and cherished because you were meeting most of her emotional needs.
At the beginning of your marriage, she was probably so much in love with you that she could look beyond the fact that sex was merely “okay” for her. She did this because of the intensity of her feelings for you which made sexual intercourse somewhat enjoyable. She probably wanted to please you and being physically intimate expressed those intense emotions she felt for you. So she gave you access to her sexuality, because her emotional needs were being met.
But things may have changed over time. Perhaps your relationship became more static and predictable. Over the months or years, the display of your love probably cooled down. You may have stopped spending so much money on her (or the things you spent it on seemed less romantic). Somewhere along the way you probably also stopped telling her how you felt about her, because after all, you had already said all those things.
When most men encounter this situation, they’re probably still enjoying sex on a regular basis, so they may not feel anything is wrong. They probably don’t sense any need to make their woman feel special in order to woo her into bed. As a result, the woman’s desire for sex may fall off dramatically. Because her emotional needs are not being met, sex can become a duty for her that she resents, and in some cases she may even detest it.
So how can you go about changing this situation?
Because sex begins in the mind, it is important to first change your mental outlook. A man must learn new ways to stimulate his lover’s heart and mind, because for most women, the most powerful aphrodisiac comes on the emotional level.
Your first step will be to reshape your concept of how sex is supposed to work. Because sensuality starts in the mind, you need a completely different framework from what you’ve had in the past.
next: Understanding Intimacy
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Last Updated( Apr 23, 2009 )
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reviewed by:
Harry Croft, MD (Psychiatrist)
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