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Cathy: "However, don't bellow directly in her ear..."
Congratulations. But you are not quite done yet, stud. Never underestimate the importance of the post-coital cuddle. Chicks dig this amazingly. Just hold her gently for a while (murmured endearments and light kisses are optional but usually much appreciated). Let the afterglow happen. You will score serious points for this, even if you wander off to hack a few minutes later.
Cathy: "This can be a good time to talk quietly about personal things, if you are trying to get to know her better."
Note: I have just laid out a template for good basic sex. It works -- if you follow it you won't go far wrong. However, beware of taking it too literally. As in other kinds of art, over-reliance on technique tends to produce mechanical, joyless results. No woman wants to feel like a paint-by-numbers diagram or an obstacle course; if you find yourself mentally checking off boxes on a rote grand tour of her errogenous zones, it's not likely to work well for either of you.
Tastes differ, and you need to adapt to local conditions with each partner. Some women will really get off on having their nipples sucked; others are almost indifferent to it. A few prefer shallow penetration to deep. Notice these differences (and others) and use them.
You will also occasionally run into special situations in which her particular needs are so pressing that your own gratification runs a very distant second to satisfying her. The most common of these is virginity. If the woman tells you she is a virgin, or you discover it through the presence of an intact hymen (a membrane half-blocking access to the vagina), feel extremely honored that she has trusted you to help her have a good first experience. A woman's first time is more difficult than a man's and may involve minor pain and bleeding as the hymen ruptures. Accordingly, you need to be extra gentle and extra careful that she is extremely aroused before penetration, so that any discomfort will quickly be washed away by pleasure. The post-coital cuddle is especially important with a virgin; you could literally shape her attitude towards men and sex for the rest of her life with that few minutes of kindness.
In general, remember the objectives: joy and satisfaction. Pay attention to her feedback and tune your behavior accordingly. Answer her desires, and let her know when she's answering yours. That, not physical equipment or fancy moves, is what will make you terrific in bed.
next: Sex Tips for Women: from Cosmo
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