Ultimately, blood vessels end up causing the less vital areas on your body (like your little buddy, for instance) to constrict, so that the blood flow to areas crucial to immediate survival (the heart, lungs and skeletal muscles) keep adequate stability.

All this professional talk is just to let you know that this is a normal reflex that maximizes the ability to fight or run to protect your life. The problem is that it's happening at a time when it's not needed, like, say, when you're trying to get it on with Mrs. Robinson.

the power of positivity

Take the pressure off of yourself; remember it takes two to tango. Don't rush into having sex, rather take the time to appreciate the woman that you have before your eyes. She's yours for the taking and if you would simply focus all of your attention on her, you're nervousness would slowly dissipate.

How can you turn performance anxiety into performance variety?

Keep in mind that performance anxiety affects almost everyone, from the beginner to the most seasoned professional; you're not a freak and you're definitely not alone. Keep telling yourself that you are the man; always stay positive and know that you have complete control over your body. Enforce that control.

As well, communicate with your significant other, or better yet, spend the evening talking about all the dirty deeds you imagine doing to one another. It'll take your mind off your temporary drawback, and may even encourage the sleeping giant to awaken and take his woman, and make love with her like never before.

The power of positive thinking can help you accomplish anything, and if you believe that you will have great sex, you will. And believe it or not, after the first time you overcome this performance anxiety, you will have the confidence to turn your self-fulfilling prophecy into something positive.

With patience, a clear mind, and a comfortable relationship with a great woman, you'll be able to free yourself of this vicious cycle and engage in that kick-butt sex you always knew you were destined for.

Treatment for Fear of Sex in Men

1. Understand what the fear is about and why it is there.
2. Gradual exposure to the sources of the fear during therapy and homework exercises, possibly Sex Therapy, which is the most effective treatment.
3. Use of medication to help reduce the sensations of fear.

You are likely to need the help of a therapist with this problem. It is not uncommon, and can be overcome if you keep going and recognise that there is nothing wrong with you. You just have an irrational response to sex. You have that response for very good reasons, and can change it if you wish. The really great thing about sexual response is that is can be changed.

next: Women's Sex Problems