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men and sex

The fact that men are allowed to express themselves sexually from an early age gives them some confidence in the sexual arena. But the fact that they let their guard down here makes them more vulnerable than ever.

Women should be aware that men are particularly vulnerable to rejection before, during, and after sex. Sex opens men up to rejection and sexual rejects are often seen as personal rejections.

Their defenses are down and they are at risk. They are like a turtle without a shell-easily punctured and hurt. In addition, men often don't distinguish between the rejection of them sexually and the rejection of them as a whole person.

But will they act hurt when they are rejected? Probably not. That is not an acceptable emotion for men in our society. They are more likely to act mad or sullen, or merely withdraw. Their defensive reaction to the injury is detached, distant, or critical in keeping with society's expectations of men. Often the reaction is, "I'm gone; I'm out of here."

Does this mean women should have sex with men whenever or wherever the men wish, just to avoid wounding them in their vulnerable state? Of course not. But it does mean they should be aware that men are particularly vulnerable before, during, and after sex. This is not the time to launch into a ten minute dissertation of what is wrong with his sexual technique.

 


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