Questions and Answers - The Book Self-Help Stuff That Works Questions and Answers

Written by Adam Khan

Question: What about the theory that much of what we are is unchangeable and genetic? Isn't depression genetic?

Adam: There's certainly a genetic predisposition in some people toward depression, but some people with that predisposition do not get depressed, so the important question is not how much of it is genetic, but what can be done to overcome it? Brain chemistry is not the end of the line. The way you think changes your brain chemistry. And exercise and the way you eat changes your brain chemistry. Certainly some people are hopelessly handicapped by a quirk in their brain tissue. But even severely depressed people can benefit from thinking less pessimistically. It may not make them as happy as the rest of us, but it'll

I think it would be a mistake to put too much credence in the postulate depression is genetic. It is a defeatist and highly pessimistic explanation of a phenomenon that has shown itself amenable to alterations in thinking habits. It is ironic that a person would have to be fairly pessimistic to explain depression as purely genetic! The explanation itself is depressing!

Question: Is your book generally useful? Or does it apply to only certain people?

Adam: It is very generally applicable. The chapters talk about dealing with people, feeling good more often, enjoying your work and doing it better, and almost all of us could benefit from it. There's a lot in there that any given person hasn't heard about yet.

Question: What has it done for you? How has the content of the book helped you?

Adam: Every one of the chapters covers a principle that helped me. The things I tried that didn't help didn't make it into the book!

The very first chapter, for example, is on the work of Martin Seligman, a researcher from the University of Pennsylvania. For over thirty years he has been conducting experiments to discover how people get depressed and what can be done about it. His best book (in my opinion, of course) is Learned Optimism. I got it because my wife, Klassy, had suffered from depression off and on her whole life. The information helped her tremendously, but a surprise to me was that it helped me also. It surprised me because I had always considered myself an optimist.

There's a questionnaire in the book that allows you to discover how optimistic or pessimistic you are and in what way, specifically, you are optimistic or pessimistic. Out of the six categories of optimism/pessimism, I was very pessimistic in one of them: Taking credit for the good stuff. When something nice happened, I hardly ever acknowledged myself for the part I played in bringing it about. This category doesn't produce really devastating depression, but it did prevent me from feeling some good feelings. For every chapter, I can tell you how that principle helped me.

Question: Why would people want to buy this? How's it going to help them?

Adam: There are several ways it could be helpful to someone. First, and probably most important, when any of us (let's take you for example) comes down, like if you're in an argument with your spouse or feel bummed because you have been slacking on your exercise program or because your kid is getting in trouble at school, then the book is ready-made for browsing at times like that. I do it myself, and it works like a charm. For the everyday problems and unpleasant feelings, there's something in the book, usually lots of things, that address the situation usefully.

It's important, for example, to refrain from jumping to negative or self-defeating conclusions, and you can certainly read that and remember it. However, when a friend of yours gets mad and hangs up on you, and you start fuming, one of the things you probably won't remember is to check your thoughts for ill-formed conclusions. And yet that's the very time you need that information.

The reason I made Self-Help Stuff That Works hardbound and Smythe-sewn is because it needs to hold up under years of constant use. It's when you're upset, when your mad, when your frustrated, when you feel defeated, that's the most important time to confer with the book. That's when it can remind you to do the things you know in your good moments that you ought to do, but things that in your bad moments you forget to do.

So the book is good at bringing you up when things are bad. But it's also useful for making things better when things are fine. Leaf through the book and find a principle you want to practice today, write it on a card, and go practice it.

For example, I decided today I'm going to pay attention to what I appreciate and say it. That will benefit me today, but it'll also begin to make me more aware of it in the days after, and if I practice it a lot, I could create a new habit that benefits me the rest of my life.

Question: What is the basic nub of the book?

Adam: You can improve your attitude, become more effective at work and enjoy better relationships by becoming more rational with your thinking, imbuing your life with more purpose, and raising your level of integrity.