The attitude to have is a combination of persistence and acceptance. You persist in repeating your word and you accept it when your mind wanders, but you still persist in repeating your word again, while accepting that you wandered off.

Most of the studies were done on people who did this kind of relaxation "15-20 minutes, once or twice a day," so that's what I recommend. Put a clock where you can see it. By the time the 15 or 20 minutes are over, you're usually going to feel very relaxed, which is why I don't recommend you set an alarm or buzzer to tell you your time is up. It can jar you and that's the opposite of the relaxation response.

Don't expect anything. Sometimes you'll feel deeply relaxed and almost blissful afterwards, sometimes you won't. It's a good session either way. Sometimes your mind will drift, sometimes it won't. It's a good session either way. And sometimes you'll just fall asleep, and that just means you probably didn't get enough sleep the night before. Even that's okay: naps are good for you too.

Since you can pretty much repeat anything you want and it will work, I suggest you repeat something that has some meaning for you. The shorter, the better. Soft sounds -  M's and N's and Sh's - work better (are more relaxing) than hard sounds: K's and P's and Q's.

During the relaxation response, your brainwaves slow down and become more steady and rhythmical. These are called "alpha" and "theta" brainwaves. There's a good deal of evidence that we are more suggestible in those states than in our normal waking state (a "beta" brainwave pattern). Since you're already in this suggestible state when you relax, you can (and might as well) make use of it by giving yourself suggestions. The word or phrase you repeat can be a suggestion, and/or at the end, when you're still relaxed with your eyes closed and your time is up, you can take a minute or two and give yourself some positive suggestions. For example: "When I open my eyes, I'll feel refreshed and alert," or, "Tonight I will have a dream that will give me an idea for a solution to a problem." You might as well take advantage of your suggestibility while you have it.

That's all there is to it. It's easy and enjoyable. It takes a little time, but it's worth it. This is something that not only has long-term benefits, but also feels good in the short-term.

THAT'S NOT ALL. Relaxing yourself makes the world a better place. You make a scientifically-verifiable difference to your family, friends, and the world at large by relaxing yourself regularly. Experiments by psychologist Gary Schwartz showed that people who relax regularly have lower anxiety levels and fewer psychological problems. Regular relaxation also improves your ability to pick up subtle perceptual cues and increases your empathy. And research by Ronald Riggio, Ph.D., proved what our everyday experience tells us: moods and attitudes are contagious.

Add these findings together and it means that if you relaxed regularly you would be better at resolving conflict with people; you'd be able to come together with people more harmoniously to reach compromises that are good for everyone. The world needs more people like that.

And since moods are contagious and since relaxing regularly puts you in a better mood and makes you more calm and relaxed, the people around you will also be in a better mood and be more calm and relaxed, which is good for them like it's good for you. You can help your children and your spouse and your friends and your co-workers be healthier, happier and have better relationships just by relaxing yourself.

Everything goes better with relaxation. Work. Relationships. Social interaction. Talking with children. Sex. Relaxation is good.

It's an old Chinese saying that if you want to change the world, change your government, and if you want to change your government, change your family, and if you want to change your family, change yourself. You can make a step in that direction by relaxing.

next: How Being Irresponsible Can Improve Your Life