ABOUT PROBLEMS AND GETTING HELP

____ If you need advice about sex, get it from someone who has taken a vow of celibacy.

____ If your therapist blushes and gets a little tongue-tied when you bring up sex, you've found a good one!

____ Remember that sex is just a normal thing so therapists don't really need any special training in it.

____ If something is wrong in your relationship and you don't know what it is, it probably isn't sex!

PRINCIPLES OF GOOD SEX

I could go on and on with this, but I think I'll remove my tongue from my cheek for the rest of this topic.

ABOUT NORMALCY:

Normalcy simply doesn't matter! What matters is whether both of you enjoy what you do.

THE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP:

The sexual relationship is ALWAYS there, not just in the bedroom but whenever you are together. It occurs between people who are usually equally sexual, and equal in all other ways - regardless of gender. And sex is a good idea whenever you can enjoy it, not just when you feel intensely loving.

WHAT YOU THINK AND DO AWAY FROM YOUR PARTNER:

Keep any promises you have made to your partner. Other than that, remember that your life away from your partner is entirely your own business.

WHAT TO THINK AND DO IN THE BEDROOM:

Think whatever you want! And do whatever your want that your partner hasn't specifically ruled out!

ABOUT PROBLEMS AND GETTING HELP

If something is wrong and you don't know what it is, it likely IS sex! A well-trained therapist - with a good sex life of their own - is what you and your partner need. You can usually tell if your therapist has a good sex life by seeing them with their partner and looking for either an excited smile or a relaxed smile on both faces! (That's how we can tell about you and your partner...!)

next: Couples: Passive and Controlling Partners