39.Give yourself the gift of self-care. Take a "time out" from the hectic holidays and treat yourself to a personal spa. You deserve to be pampered. Make it a party for one! Be nice to yourself. Spoil yourself with comfort. Unwind. Think. Enjoy! The holiday season often is extremely draining, because all of those extra activities require additional time and energy. Take a bubble bath. It is important for you to take good care of yourself during the holiday season - consider this the most valuable gift you can give yourself.

40.Grab your toolbelt, pick up your hammer and contact an organization like Habitat for Humanity (www.Habitat.org). Many of these organizations host volunteer trips to Third World countries during holiday breaks.

41.Reach out. Call friends or family "before" you begin feeling a little lonely. Don't wait for them to call you. If there has been some distance or strain in the family's relationship, now may be a good time to take the first step and call. Make the conversation light. Don't dwell on the past.

42.Get a new haircut or style. Make yourself feel good by looking good. No matter if you're a man or a woman, a new "do" will do wonders for your holiday state of mind.

43.Put up a Christmas tree, hang some lights. Even if you're the only one who's going to see it, take the time to decorate your home. Tune into all those wonderful traditions you grew up with. Send out cards. Make Christmas cookies. Do it for you!

44.Volunteer to help prepare and serve food at at local soup kitchen. Donate sacks of food for the hungry and homeless. The homeless also need donations of clothing for children and adults.

45.Many international students, who have traveled thousands of miles to come to the United States may not have the money to travel home for the holidays. Contact a local college, university or foreign-student center and invite a few students over for a special holiday dinner.

46.Baby-sit for neighborhood children or children of family friends on New Year's Eve, or offer to baby-sit while the parents go shopping.

47.Locate a battered women's shelter in your area and help to create the holiday spirit for them. Recruit other solo friends to prepare food, decorate the tree, and spend time with them. Solicit a number of local supermarkets to donate food over the holidays to the local shelter that houses mothers and their children who had left abusive husbands. Regift some of the gifts you have no use for. Read to the children in the shelters and hold hands with the lonely and confused.

48.Give yourself the gift of restraint. Excessive materialism has serious consequences. Stick to a budget. Do not rack up credit card debt while getting sucked into the vortex of the season's commercialism. Don't spend money you don't have. Overspending during the holidays on gifts, travel, food and entertainment can increase stress as you try to make ends meet while ensuring that everyone on your shopping list is happy. Singles often try to make up for being alone by purchasing expensive gifts for friends.

49.Adopt-a-Shelter. Families in shelters are forced to neglect Christmas presents for their children due to lack of funds, and some shelters exist for children who have no families at all. Recruit single friends for this project.

50.Provide a special service for an older neighbor. Scout the neighborhood door-to-door. Ask for referrals to single neighbors. Cook a meal, perform minor home maintenance and repair, do laundry, change a light bulb, do whatever needs to be done for an older neighbor who is spending the holiday alone.

51.Set differences aside. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even when they don't live up to your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. With stress and activity levels high, the holidays might not be conducive to making quality time for fixing relationships. Be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are, they're feeling the effects of holiday stress, too.

52.Rewrite "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Remember the old Christmas Carol? Rewrite "twelve days" to suit your holiday plans. That is, plan twelve special days just for you. Make sure the days include time with your immediate family and special friends. Not only will you have plenty of fun deciding how to spend your days, you will also ensure that there is time for you (and any children).

53.Be careful of "shoulds" - it is better to do what is most helpful for you and your children. If a situation looks especially difficult over the holidays, don't participate.

54.Have a humorous gift exchange at your holiday party. Decorate your Christmas tree with a humorous flair. This works great to create a healthy humor climate within the group and helps them view the holidays in a positive way. Start a humorous holiday tradition. Save the holiday cards you receive this year and "recycle" them next year. Just cross out the sender's signature, sign your name, and mail it back to the person who gave it to you. Remember the true sprit of the holidays. Tis the season to be jolly! Decorate your face with a smile and share it with others.

55.Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for several weeks, talk to a relationship coach. Larry James is available for coaching during the holidays.

56.Copy and share this list with other single friends. Send them an e-mail with a link to this page.

Seasonal hype leads us to believe that the only way to achieve holiday happiness is by spending time with family and loved ones. There's so much hype for this wonderful time of togetherness that it accentuates the feeling of being alone and disconnected.

Experts warn against the notion that without an idyllic holiday, there is something terribly wrong. The holidays can be joyous if you're alone, or they can be difficult. The truth, however, is that it's all about your attitude. Being alone does not have to mean being lonely.