One thing to remember: There is no cure-all for the holiday blues, however it is important for you to understand that the only person in charge of how you "feel" is you.

Before you get defensive about that statement, I suggest that you take a closer look at the real issue that brings on this feeling. It is not in your best interest to allow what you think to color how you feel.

Understand the difference between the holiday blues and holiday stress. Holiday blues are feelings of loss or sadness because you can't be with people who are special to you. Holiday stress is often caused because you believe you need to be with some of those people.

Feeling down is not all bad. It allows you to see that something in your life is not working. If you listen to your depression, it may help you make changes in your life. Embracing the "blues" in a positive way is a good thing.

For many people, the holidays are a traditional time of happiness and festivity. However, for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, the holidays are a time of mixed emotions. Be aware of what triggers your emotions. Do your best to accept that your emotions will vary during the holidays. Make time to deal with your emotions. Have a good cry, punch some pillows and shout out loud about how angry you are. But then, as best you can, let it go.

Plan ahead. Schedule some fun events for January to give you something to look forward to.

No one wants to be alone during the holidays. And although you may not be in a position to do anything about being with the one you would rather be with, you can do something to help yourself focus on making yourself "merry" during the holidays. A holiday alone does not have to be the end of the world. Here are a few suggestions to help you dodge the perils of solitude and radiate holiday cheer:

2.Gather toys from friends and store donations and bring give to children who would not otherwise have toys. Donate clothing too. You can find these children through schools, churches and various other organizations. Donate to the U.S. Marine Toys for Tots Foundation. (Find your state dropoff area in the "Toy Drive in Your Community" dropdown menu).

Joyce Faith once said, "The mystery of being a volunteer is that lonely hearts feel useful, fearful hearts discover it isn't so scary to encounter another person, cynical hearts learn to be hopeful and isolated hearts are warmed by community."

3.Exercise and keep those endorphins pumping, especially if you have a tendency to avoid your feelings of loneliness by sleeping too much. Exercise not only allows you to sleep better, it also makes you more alert and efficient during the day. Exercising regularly helps a person feel good about themselves as well as giving your body a helpful workout.

4.Do not abandon healthful habits, such as exercise, and eating healthy food. Choose HEALTHY food! Pick food that will stabilize your blood sugar when you know you might be sampling lots of sweets during the holidays! While it's fine to stuff ourselves with turkey and ham during Thanksgiving and the December holidays, we should also be careful not to overdo it. It's very easy to do. Overindulgence may add to your stress and guilt. It can also contribute to a poor self-image and lowered self-esteem.

5.Decorate your house or apartment with lots of holiday lights! Do it for YOU! Often the moods of the seasons are affected by shorter days and longer nights during November and December. Our biological body recognizes these signals and often people react in extreme ways and can't seem to stop eating, gaining weight and sleeping excessively.

6.If visits from certain people during the holidays in the past have affected you in a negative way, it's time to assert yourself. Let them know that "This is not a good time for me to have guests," or "I have other plans this year, but thanks for asking." You do not have to make excuses or defend yourself. They may expect you to give an excuse, but you don't have to do it. Make your own choices. Assert your right to say, "No, and thanks for asking."

7.Practice gratitude! Be thankful for all the things you DO have and avoid focusing on what you lack. Count your blessings! Make a list! When you really look, you can find many positive things to focus on. "Pity Parties" are out!

8.If you have children or loved ones who come to visit, do your best to create an atmosphere that focuses on "doing" rather than "having." Wear a Santa hat or some other festive, playful gear. Plan lots of holiday activities together; bake some cookies together; read a story aloud; make your own holiday decorations; give homemade gifts.

9.Emphasize the more spiritual aspects of your holiday. Rethink the reason for the season. Attend a special holiday service (i.e., a candle lighting service), take a drive around the city and enjoy the Christmas lights and holiday decorations! Doing so can help you understand that you are not really alone!

10.Read a good book; one that will help you focus on being the very best person you can be; one that will help you understand that the only relationship you have total responsibility for is the one you have with yourself. Take time for YOU! Never stop working YOU! A lot of new movies come out in December and many theatres are open on Christmas Day, so treat yourself to a flick. OR. . . read 12 Movies That May Be Overlooked During The Holidays for a list of movies you can rent; movies from twelve genres for, ostensibly, the twelve days of Christmas!