If I Had Only Known
- Jana Stanfield

If I had only known it would be our last walk in the rain,
I’d keep you out for hours in the storm.
I would hold your hand like a lifeline to my heart,
and underneath the sun we’d be warm.
If I had only known it was our last walk in the rain.

If I had only known I’d never hear your voice again,
I’d memorize each thing you ever said.
And on those lonely nights, I could think of them once more,
And keep your words alive inside my head,
If I had only known, I’d never hear your voice again.

Lyrics © by Jana Stanfield. Listen to these words, then read the following. Go to: If I Had Only Known.

What if you knew this would be the last day you would spend with your partner; the last time you would ever talk to them?

Would you say the following?

“You just don’t care about the house. I’m the only one who does. You ‘never’ do anything to help!”

“What a klutz.”

“It’s no wonder you got a divorce. I’d like to talk to your ex!”

“Go to hell!”

“How could you do that after all I’ve we’ve been through?”

“(Bleep) you!”

“You disgust me; just shut up.”

“What a slob!”

“I wish I’d never married you!”

“I have to do everything around here!”

“You are absolutely good for nothing”

“That dress makes your butt look fat!”

“You are just plain clumsy! I could make a long list of the stupid things you’ve done!”

“That does it! Why don’t we just get a divorce? We can’t ever seem to get along!”

Would you say these words to your child if you knew it was the last time you would speak to them?

“You’ll never amount to anything.”

“You’re going to be locked up someday.”

“You’re the reason your mother and I are getting a divorce.”

“Your brother would never do that. You must have done it.”

“You only got a 97 on your exam? What happened to the other three points?”

Ever catch yourself saying, “I wish I hadn’t said that!”? Thoughtless words spoken by a stranger do not have nearly the impact as the same words spoken by someone you trust; someone you love - a partner.

Thoughtless words once spoken cut like a knife. Reckless words pierce like a sword. They leave long-lasting scars. They contain injurious subtleties. They are often intended to cause guilt trips.

Do not overlook the impact of your words to your partner. Insults take many forms and they all hurt. Hurtful words are seldom forgotten.

Thoughtless words such as these generally spawn disagreement which often cause arguments that derail the relationship and shift the subject from the one casting stones.

Some justify their words by saying, “I’m just being honest” or “I’m just telling you how I really feel” or “Well, that’s just who I am” or “I’m telling you the truth!”

What they are really saying is, “I just don’t care enough to want to make the effort to control my outbursts.” They generally blame their partner for their tirades.

Many hurtful words come from lips that were aided by a dependence on alcohol.

Mindless name calling is destructive. The meanness behind unkind words is uncalled for and serves no worthwhile purpose.