The narcissist can, thus, derive, vicariously, through the lives of others, the Narcissistic Supply that he so needs. He induces in them criminal, romantic, heroic, impulses. He navigates them to forbidden realms of the intellect. He makes them travel far, travel fast, breach all norms, gamble against all odds, fear not - in short: be what he could never be.

And he thrives on the attention, admiration, fascination, or horrified reactions lavished upon his proxies. He consumes the Narcissistic Supply flowing through the human conduits of his own making. Such a narcissist is likely to use sentences like "I made him", "He was nothing before he met me", "He is my creation", "She learned everything she knows from me and at my expense", and so on.

Sufficiently detached - both emotionally and legally - the narcissist flees the scene when the going gets tough. Often, these behaviours, acts and emotions induced by the proximity to the narcissist - bring about harsh consequences. An emotional crisis can be as calamitous as a physical or material catastrophe.

The narcissist's prey is not equipped to deal with the crises that are the narcissist's daily bread and which, now, he or she are forced to confront as the narcissist's proxy. The behaviour and emotions induced by the narcissist are alien and a cognitive dissonance usually ensues. This only aggravates the situation. But the narcissist is rarely there to watch his invaded victims writhe and suffer.

At the first sign of trouble, he flees and disappears. This act of vanishing need not be physical or geographical. The narcissist is better at disappearing emotionally and at evading his legal obligations (despite constant righteous moralising). It is then and there that the people who surround the narcissist discover his true colours: he uses and discards people in an absentminded manner. To him, people are either "functional" and "useful" in his pursuit of Narcissistic Supply - or not human at all, dimensionless cartoons. Of all the hurts that the narcissist can inflict - this, probably, is the strongest and most enduring one.

When Victims Become Narcissists

Some people adopt the role of a professional victim. In doing so, they become self-centred, devoid of empathy and, abusive and exploitative. In other words, they become narcissists. The role of "professional victims" - ones whose existence and very identity is defined solely and entirely by their victimhood - is well researched in victimology. It doesn't make for a nice reading.

These victim "pros" are often more cruel, vengeful, vitriolic, lacking in compassion and violent than their abusers. They make a career of it. They identify with this role to the exclusion of all else. It is a danger to be avoided. And this is precisely what I called "Narcissistic Contagion" or "Narcissism by Proxy".

These affected entertain the (false) belief they can compartmentalize their narcissistic behavior and direct it only at the narcissist. In other words, they trust in their ability to segregate their behavior patterns: verbally abusive towards the narcissist - civil with others, act with malice where the narcissist is concerned - and with Christian charity towards all others.

They cling to the "faucet theory". They believe that they can turn on and off their negative feelings, their abusive outbursts, their vindictiveness and vengefulness, their blind rage, their non-discriminating judgment. This, of course, is untrue. These behaviors spill over, into daily transactions with innocent others.

One cannot be partly or temporarily vindictive and judgmental any more than one can be partly or temporarily pregnant. To their horror, these victims discover that they have been transmuted and transformed into their worst nightmare: into a narcissist.

Narcissism is contagious and that many victims tend to become narcissists themselves: malevolent, vicious, lacking empathy, egotistical, exploitative, violent and abusive.

next: Narcissistic Signal, Stimulus, and Hibernation Mini-Cycles