Malignant Self Love, Narcissism Revisited - Discussion and Reading Group Guide

Written by Dr. Sam Vaknin

Questions to Ponder

Q: Is pathological narcissism related to healthy narcissism? Are they part of the same spectrum and only a matter of degree or intensity?

Q: Do narcissists love themselves? Are they capable of loving anyone at all?

Q: Why do narcissists abuse the very people from whom they derive sustenance in the form of Narcissistic Supply?

Q: Can the Narcissistic Personality Disorder be easily distinguished from other mental health disorders (for instance, Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, or the Histrionic and Borderline Personality Disorders)?

Q: Can narcissism be cured and, if yes, would psychotherapy be best - or would medication?

Q: Why do narcissists idealize and then devalue their sources of supply?

Q: Can pathological narcissism be compared to addictions?

Q: Is society geared to dealing with narcissists and the destructive effect they have on their nearest and dearest?

Q: Narcissists wreak havoc through subtle and not so subtle means. Why and in which circumstances do they resort to subtlety?

Q: Can a narcissist be self-aware and still remain a narcissist?

Q: How can one shield one's children from "narcissistic radiation" or "narcissistic fallout"?

Q: How to recognize a narcissist before it is too late?

Q: How should one respond to narcissistic rage, narcissistic injury and narcissistic grandiose fantasies?

Q: How does one divorce a narcissist and cope with vindictive narcissists?

Q: Narcissists get "into your head". How does one get rid of their lasting influence, of the "internal voice" the narcissist bequeaths to his victims?

Q: Why do narcissists hate happiness and emotions? Is it because they are jealous? And what are the roles of envy, shame and control in narcissism?

Q: There are a myriad forms of abuse - from the ambient through the subtle to the overt. Can you give examples of each type?

Q: Is narcissism reversible? Can it be cured? Contained? Restrained? Is there such thing as transient narcissism or a mere passing narcissistic reaction?

Q: What is the difference between Inverted ("covert") Narcissism and Co-dependence?

Q: Should I stay with him?

next: Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited Preface