Validation and Healing - Excerpts Part 47 - Definition of Narcissism

Written by Sam Vaknin

"This wish is the psychological equivalent of hunger or thirst (or sex drive). It is a craving gradually translated into a plan of action. But first comes the insatiable addiction to Narcissistic Supply - and only then a cognitive "blueprint" of hunting, conversion and conquest."

This is the crucial paragraph. First, there is a craving for Narcissistic Supply - and then the hunt. The narcissist pursues women not because he finds them attractive, appealing, possible soul mates, or sexual partners. He pursues women because he needs his drug. He is an energy and attention vampire and women are the best sources of this much-desired elixir.

6. Fantasies as a Narcissistic Trait

Many narcissists never unravel. Many narcissists are successful pillars of their community. Many narcissists are celebrities and celebrated as "Great Men". And they are.

What distinguishes a narcissist from a normal person is NOT the OUTCOMES of his fantasies - but their NATURE and SCOPE.

Grandiose fantasies - whether successfully realized or not - are a narcissistic trait.

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