Interview Mental-Health Today - Excerpts Part 40 - Narcissism and Borderline Personality

Written by Sam Vaknin

Patients suffering from personality disorders have many things in common:

Most of them are insistent.

They regard themselves as unique, display a streak of grandiosity and a diminished capacity for empathy.

They are manipulative and exploitative.

Most personality disorders start out as problems in personal development which peak during adolescence.

The personality disordered are often unhappy (dysphoric and anhedonic) and ego-dystonic (hate themselves).

Patients with personality disorders are alloplastic in their defenses. In other words: they tend to blame the external world for their mishaps.

At least that's what the DSM-IV-TR (2000) says.

As to your first question:

BPD's would tend to be attracted to NPD's but only in specific combinations.

This depends on co-morbidity.

A BPD who also has HPD (Histrionic) will be attracted to both kinds of narcissists.

But a BPD with narcissistic traits (overlay) is likely to be attracted to the cerebral narcissist.

A BPD who is also codependent would be attracted to the type of narcissist that her parent was.

I must correct myself: the DSM claims that people with personality disorders are ego-SYNTONIC (are happy with the way they are).

I think it is wrong. So, that they are unhappy with themselves is MY VIEW.

Question from emmespalace:

Sam, is there any way someone who is now in a relationship with someone who has NPD can break away from this relationship and remain safe from repercussions?

Sam Vaknin:

It depends on the narcissist is question. Pathological narcissism rarely comes in "pure form". It is always CO-MORBID with other mental health disorders or with substance abuse or other reckless behaviours (DUAL DIAGNOSIS).

If the narcissist has strong anti-social (psychopathic) traits, he would tend to be vindictive and violent.

If the narcissist is also paranoid, he would tend to stalk, harass, and, generally, incapacitate his "persecutor".

But the best predictor of future violence is past violence.

In most cases, the narcissist's bark is far more dangerous than his bite. The reason is simple: the narcissist is a drug addict. He is after supply. This is energy, time and resource consuming.

The narcissist needs to dedicate himself to the pursuit of NEW narcissistic supply sources.

This need prevails over his desire to PUNISH old sources.

Question from saved:

If someone is a cerebral narcissist, can he still receive a narcissistic injury by being insulted or humiliated by comments made by others about his being overweight, unendowed, etc.?

Sam Vaknin:

Very interesting question! I have never been asked this before!

Let me think ... No, I don't think so.

Narcissistic injury is actually the way a narcissist experiences THREAT to his inflated ego, to his delusions of grandeur and grandiose fantasies and to his sense of entitlement.

A cerebral narcissist would feel threatened if his claims regarding his INTELLECT and his intellectual accomplishments are disputed or exposed as a lie.

But a cerebral narcissist makes NO CLAIMS regarding his body, sexual ability, strength, etc.

So, he is incapable of feeling threatened by any statements pertaining to these issues.