The relationship between the narcissist and his supply sources resembles the relationship between the drug addict and his pusher.

8. Inside, Outside

Language is the mirror of the soul. Most people use different linguistic styles either to:

1. conform to a social role they assume or enhance it or
2. to accurately reflect an inner emotional state.

This distinction - between inside and outside - is lost on the narcissist.

The roles he acts ARE his inner states. He has only an outer shell with a void for a self. Hence the very frequent fluctuations in behaviour (including tone of voice and choice of vocabulary). The narcissist's behaviour and reactions are dictated by cues from the outside. These cues are numerous, inconsistent, rapid. The narcissist, as a result, is unpredictable, contradictory and startling. He is a reflection and nothing but a reflection.

9. How does the Narcissist Perceive My Indifference to His Abuse?

He perceives this as aggression combined with stupidity. To him, you are not sufficiently intelligent to grasp his complex and cosmically important world. You are unaware of your transgressions and you are abstruse because you refuse to accept the narcissist's verdict regarding your behaviour and to learn from his penetrating insights and comprehension. When he idealizes you and you remain unmoved - you are frustrating and ingrate. When he devalues you and you ignore him - you are obstinate and deserving of even worse punishment. In short: you are infuriating because you won't be controlled.

next: Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List Part 35