You rebel against this nightmare. You refuse to accept it, thinking that there MUST be SOMETHING you can do to resurrect your dead. You know there isn't. There is nothing you can do because you married a dead woman to begin with - a dead woman in quest of life, or, rather, in quest of the imitation of life. A woman who preferred pixel sex to real one, fantasy to reality, the future to the present, screen names to your name. You had nothing to offer to her. She was disinterested in your wares because they required her to taste life itself: work, children, a partnership forged in daily minutiae.

All this is not to say that you are an easy person to live with or that you are devoid of grandiosity, mildly sadistic vengefulness, and so on.

BUT, what I am trying to tell you is that your bad traits are more than balanced by very many good ones and that a woman-mate-partner with the right frame of mind would have sought to make use of the latter while ignoring or modifying the former. This is the kind of compromise that is called "being together".

6. People are Tired

People are tired. They carry their lives like trash bags to be disposed in a city without bins.

Communicating with people is sharing trash - rarely an uplifting experience and always a boring one.

Sex is a mode of communication.

People insist that THEIRS is no trash. That it is fragrant. That it is rich and varied. That it represents an investment in a bin-less future.

But it is a charade. A willing self-abnegation. A zombish suicide.

And then there are those whose eyes are peeled, cursed by their inability to pretend.

The olfactorily-challenged.

A damnation of truth-seeking and alienation. Hated by everyone, we wander, our hands empty, our minds ad astra.

We are no longer here.

We never have been.

7. The Rational Narcissist

The narcissist employs numerous defence mechanisms, including rationalization and intellectualization. Ratiocination is a reflexive activity of the narcissist. He tends to generalize on the basis of very flimsy evidence and jumps to exceedingly far fetched conclusions based on a chance behaviour. It leads, at times, to paranoid ideation or to being possessed to some degree by ideas of reference. Often, the narcissist - out of touch with both his own emotions (emotional defect) and the outside world (cognitive defect) - causally attributes unrelated events to one another. The narcissist is plagued by surreptitious magical thinking (see my FAQs). Unlike the schizotypal, his magical thinking is not expressed or manifest but rather is camouflaged as a kind of hyper-rationalism or "logic gone amok".

next: Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List Part 31