Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List Part 28
The Digital Narcissist (SEX)
After years of being convinced that I invented a digital (finger) version of Kama Sutra, I was told lately that I actually HURT the women thus penetrated.
It shocked me somewhat.
Also, rhythm-wise I am absolutely out of synch with my partner.
I can't dance and I can't mate. I have no sense of harmony or beat.
And - though trying to be as altruistic in sex as I can - I usually end up a total egotist.
This is why, INVARIABLY, all my women refused to have sex with me after a year or two and deteriorated to furtive lovemaking with strangers.
Do you know that not a single woman ever wanted to have a child with me?
I find this STUNNING. In prison, women begged MURDERERS to impregnate them.
I NEVER met ANYONE, including real psychos and the retarded, who was actively avoided by women where procreation is concerned.
It is so outlandish - as though they felt an alien presence, had a frisson of natural abhorrence.
We are sad people.
Avoiding eye contact and evading conversation is the narcissist's haughty way of saying: "I am above these people who are so undeserving of my company".
The narcissist - by avoiding other people who might contradict and shatter his or her grandiose fantasies - is actually employing a DEFENSE mechanism.
A narcissistic injury is a horrible and interminable pain and provokes in the narcissist rage, indignation, hate, envy, and other disagreeable emotions. Slowly, the narcissist learns to isolate herself from potential sources of narcissistic injury (basically, all humans and human situations).
Many narcissists become schizoids (see FAQ 67).
Pathological narcissism develops during the formative years of the narcissist (1-6).
A narcissistic reactive formation, or narcissistic regression is possible following later-life trauma - but that would be a short term affair and would not alter the underlying personality.
I, therefore, tend to doubt the linkage between late life trauma and personality change.
There is a lot of material about the formation of narcissistic pathology in my FAQs.
Additionally, only a qualified mental health professional can render a diagnosis of NPD.
Even then I would recommend at least one more (second) opinion.
NPD is a new mental health category, there is no experience in treating it, almost no research.
Narcissists are human maelstroms.
They suck others around them into their turbulent lives with irresistible ferocity.