Sexual Perversions - Excerpts Part 22 - Narcissists and Control

Written by Sam Vaknin

5. Meaningful to Who?

It is impossible to have a relationship with a narcissist that is meaningful to the narcissist.

It is, of course, possible to have a relationship with a narcissist that is meaningful to you (see FAQ 66).

Is narcissism LEARNED?

It is often a reactive formation, a result of unbalanced (overly negative or overly positive) reinforcements. It is some form of conditioning. It is an adaptive strategy and an amalgam of defense mechanisms.

It is all learned. Maybe not consciously - but it IS learned (it is not of genetic origin, or not predominantly so).

So, can it be UNLEARNED?

For instance, by behaving UN-narcissistically?

Some say: No, on the contrary, such an effort will REINFORCE the narcissism.

Others hold the opposite view.

Who knows?

next: Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List Part 23