Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List Part 22

1. Narcissists and Sexual Perversions
2. I Hate Birthdays
3. Hysteroid Disphoria
4. Narcissists and Control
5. Meaningful to Who?
6. Is Narcissism Learned? Can it be Unlearned?

1. Narcissists and Sexual Perversions

Graphic descriptions aside, Narcissism has long been thought to be a form of paraphilia (sexual deviation or perversion). It has been closely associated with incest (research supports this) and paedophilia (which research does not, as yet, support).

I raised the possibility that incest was AUTO-EROTIC and, therefore, narcissistic in: The Offspring of Aeolus On the Incest Taboo

In other words:

When a father makes love to his daughter - he is making love to himself because she IS 50% himself. It is a form of masturbation and reassertion of control over oneself.

Homosexuality is NOT a sexual perversion. I analyzed the relationship between narcissism and homosexuality in FAQ 19.

2. I Hate Birthdays

I hate holidays and birthdays, including my birthday. It is because I hate it when other people are happy if I am not the cause of it. I have to be the prime mover and shaker of EVERYONE's moods. And no one will tell me HOW I should feel. I am my own master.

I feel that their happiness is false, fake, forced. I feel that they are hypocrites, dissimulating joy where there is none. I feel envious, humiliated by my envy, and enraged by my humiliation. I feel that they are the recipients of a gift I will never have: the ability to enjoy life and to feel joy.

And then I do my best to destroy their mood:

I bring bad news.
Provoke a fight.
Make a disparaging remark.
Project a dire future.
Sow uncertainty in the relationship.

And when the other person is sour and sad, I feel relieved.

It's back to normal.

My mood improves dramatically and I try to cheer her up.

Now if she does cheer up - it is REAL. It is my doing. I controlled it.

And I controlled HER.

3. Hysteroid Disphoria

XXX: Sam, you're describing here what the empirical-descriptive folks have called "hysteroid dysphoria" (among other things).

Sam: No, I am not.
I am describing the narcissist's pattern of reaction to deficient narcissistic supply.
A personality disorder is a COMPLEX of hundreds of separate behaviours.
Surely, each behaviour pattern taken separately can be labeled out of context.
Moreover, the same behaviour pattern can (and often does) occur in a few mental health disorders.
For instance, "hysteroid dysphoria" (I am not a fan of this "definition") is also a part of the cyclothimic disorder.
But, in the CONTEXT of the narcissistic personality disorder what I describe in FAQ 28 is one of a group of recurrent dysphorias identified as early as 1960.
Additionally, do not forget that the Narcissistic PD has finally crystallized as a mental health diagnostic category only in 1980. "Discoveries" from 1969 - preceding Kohut, Kernberg and even early Millon - are absolutely irrelevant in view of today's understanding of narcissism.
Below, I outlines the differences based on the text you chose:

XXX: It's atypical depression (a specific subtype of non-melancholic depression) with narcissistic/histrionic/borderline "personality" features. A characterization (from "Atypical Depression" (Quitkin et al) in "Clinical Advances in Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitor Therapies", Kennedy ed.):
"In 1969, Klein and Davis described a group of patients referred to as `hysteroid dysphorics.' These patients were characterized by strong desire for attention and applause, positive response to amphetamines, and a marked rejection sensitivity (especially in romantic contexts)"

Sam: Narcissists do not react only to rejection.
They react to any input - verbal, nonverbal, social, implied, real or imagined - which is deemed by them to be incommensurate with their inflated self-image.