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Page 1 of 4 Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List Part 18
- Linear Time, Cyclical Time
- Narcissism is an Addiction
- You are not to Blame!
- Emotional Investment in Pathology and Healing
- The Emergence of the True Self
- Bonding with "God"
- Group Sex as seen by the Narcissist
- Overt and Covert
- Oh, God
1. Linear Time, Cyclical Time
That time is linear is a very new, western concept.
In the philosophies of 80% of humanity there is no such thing as "linear time". To them, time is cyclical (karma is an example f cyclical time).
"Achievements", degrees, possessions, power - are all meaningless.
In linear time you feel that there are PHASES, landmarks, achievements, benchmarks, yardsticks.
You compare your time to other people's time.
You define your life in terms of "progress" or "failure to progress".
You measure (for instance, material possessions, diplomas, number of children).
And if you don't measure up to entirely artificial criteria set by society (and changing ever so often) - you feel disenfranchised, lost, disorientated, mournful, disappointed, and dejected.
And if you don't meet a series of deadlines, comply with some schedules, accumulate some possessions (material or intangible) - you are a loser.
This is wrong.
We are all unique. It is pointless to compare oranges with apples.
We all have exclusive possessions.
Can you compare empathy to money? Lamborghini cars to feeling love? The Presidency to being happy?
We ALL live our unique lives, accumulate unique experiences, acquire unique knowledge, become unique.
The best, most productive, emotionally intense, fruitful, blessed period in my life was in jail - having lost my family, my money, my property, my businesses, my reputation, my friends...everything.
It is not where we are, what we do, and what we own at any given moment that should matter.
It is the fact that we ARE. That we learn, evolve, absorb, develop, become that does it. We learn incessantly, ever curious, ever intellectually vigilant, with a sparkling intelligence - children on the seashores of knowledge, as Einstein put it.
2. Narcissism is an Addiction
I think that Narcissism is an addiction.
Some people are addicted to substances (drugs, food, alcohol, nicotine).
Some people are addicted to impulsive behaviours - usually self destructive ones (gambling, shopping, reckless driving).
Some people are addicted to other people (various types of codependence, including narcissism and inverted narcissism).
The narcissist is addicted to narcissistic supply.
The narcissist has all the hallmarks of other types of addicts.
3. You are not to Blame!
The label doesn't really matter. NPD, BPD, AsPD - probably all three in her case (multiple diagnosis or co-morbidity).
What matters is this:
EVEN if you were directly, clearly, irrevocably, undeniably, voluntarily, horribly responsible for ALL her actions and inactions day in and day out - you are no longer to be punished.
A major principle of law is that punishment must be proportional and FINAL.
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