There is NO act for which punishment is INDEFINITE.

An indefinite punishment is, by definition, DISPROPORTIONAL and onerous.

As people grow, they gradually assume responsibility for more and more of their actions.

This is called "free will" or "choice".

Your daughter is NOT a deterministic automaton, whose every move has been pre-determined in her childhood by your behaviour.

She votes. She had children. She made and makes choices.

But she wants to enjoy the best of both worlds:

To enjoy the fruits of her choices (for instance, to gain custody of her children) AND
To enjoy the lack of responsibility, the freedom from guilt and the ability to shift blame involved in accusing you.

This is incongruent.

She must decide:

Is she an adult? If so, she can blame nothing on you anymore.

Is she not responsible for her actions? If so, she should be committed and her children taken away from her.

Do not be deceived by the genetic accident that binds you together.

By the sound of it, your daughter wants you dead.

Treat her as a mortal enemy.

It is so often that we give birth to our own worst enemies.

"We have seen the enemy and it is us" - is my favourite sentence.

Cut her umbilical cord. Let her float into a space of her own making.

And you, take your spaceship and turn back home.

4. Emotional Investment in Pathology and Healing

You are heavily emotionally invested in your negative emotions (anger, fear).

Your mental condition is your best (only?) friend.

Your recovery process is your spine, your schedule, gives meaning to your life.

You are committed to an ideology.

Completed recovery perhaps threatens you with emptiness and "greyness".

I am not denying your abuse and its harrowing consequences.

I am asking how emotionally honest you are? (notice, not intellectually but emotionally honest)

For many, the holocaust has proven to be a very profitable business. Some even won Nobel Prizes. It is difficult to let go of winning routines. My narcissism is very profitable and rewarding. I seek to further my pathology, to become enough of a freak to attract even more rewards.

Ask yourself: what is in it for me? Why don't I let go? Why do I keep coming back for more (more of what)?

5. The Emergence of the True Self

The old Greek philosophers maintained that nature tolerates no vacuum.

In a life crisis, as you so accurately put it:

"Through the falling away of the false self, we experience the abyss (lack of self). Yet miraculously rising from this symbolic death, the true self, with all it's incredibly powerful, yet underdeveloped, feelings, emerges from the ashes of chaos with renewed life."

The True Self hastens to fill in the void created by the self-annulling False Self. Yet it is frozen, degenerated by decades of inactivity, infantile or at least immature, incapable of competently and adequately dealing with adult situations. This results in feelings of hopelessness, frustration and aggression (the off-spring of frustration).

Presumably, in therapy we strive to achieve two goals:

1. To prevent the resurrection of the False Self aided by the sadistic superego
2. To facilitate the maturation of the True Self by confronting past emotional baggage in a constructive, adult manner.