Narcissist's Interview - Excerpts Part 17 - Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Written by Sam Vaknin

Q: Your biggest regret? Any other big mistakes?

A: My life is a series of mistakes. Almost all my moves have been mistakes, some of them big mistakes. I apply a mechanism called "cognitive dissonance" to this. Normally, it is very difficult to continue to live with so many errors, misses, near-misses and with so much resulting ruin. But in my case I just tell myself that this is the way I WANT to live: turbulently, vicissitudinally, crazily, unpredictably, dangerously. It is true, though, that my life is the most interesting I ever came across. I have done almost anything one can think of and have been almost everywhere. This is fun, though the price in personal stability and development is steep.

Q: Your worst moment since you left Israel 2 years ago?

A: A few months ago, I had to run away from a certain country, where I lived. I became very very famous in that country as a harsh critic of the economic policies of the then incumbent government. I had to leave my house, my girlfriend, my clients and - above all - my fame, my celebrity, my Narcissistic Supply, in a matter of days. The ruling party (former communists) sent messengers to me who warned me that I will be punished for my heretical views soon. Indeed, a business associate of mine, an Israeli, was placed under investigative detention for 118 days. Two weeks after his arrest I left the country in great fear. The moments at the airport on the way out ("Will they arrest me or not?"), landing in a totally foreign land, rearranging the jigsaw puzzle of my life, this felt bad. I am not a normal person with a normal life. If I disappear one day, it will be weeks before anyone notices and even then, I don't think anyone will do anything about it.

A: I had many. Of lately, it happened in the same country that I mentioned above. I was invited to lecture at a student gathering. By that time, my face was in every paper, TV station and magazine. People were speculating whether I am a spy, an emissary of the American Government or a Mossad agent. I gave a rousing, revival-type, speech. The crowd was ecstatic. It was the first time I experienced the intoxicating power of politics. It was great, I enjoyed every second.

Q: How would you describe your home and standard of living?

A: I live in rented apartments and make sure that there is hot water in each and every one of them (rare, in this part of the world).

Q: Did you make new friends in the East?

A: Yes, a few. Some of them became ministers and influential media personalities. In Eastern europe, age is no obstacle. There are prime ministers aged 31 and ministers aged 27. Actually, I am probably called by them, behind my back, "The Old Man". Many of these friends were my students or young professionals I collaborated with. I like to play the "guru", the "Teacher". This is a superb Source of Narcissistic Supply.

Q: You became very famous at an early age and now you keep a low profile. Is it more difficult for someone with your narcissism to no longer be in the public eye?

A: Israel has no monopoly on the public eye. I am sure that you noticed that other countries emulated and imitated Israel: they also have papers and TV stations :o))) Since the age of 16, there has not been a week without my presence in some country's media. It is true, no longer in Israel. Ask the creditors why. You witnessed how much I hesitated before I agreed to give you this interview and how many conditions you had to agree to.

Q: What is your current occupation?

A: Unemployed. The crisis in Eastern Europe is ominously severe and is only going to get worse. People have no use for financial consultants. They are looking for bread.

Q: What do you think your sympathizers mostly say of you?

A: That I am viciously intelligent.

Q: What would your enemies would say?

A: That I am intelligently vicious.

Q: What is more difficult; to be on the run or to do business in Eastern Europe?

A: These are two sides of the same coin. Only people on the run do business in Eastern Europe. On the other hand, all East European businessmen are on the run. There is no such thing as "business" in Eastern Europe, not yet, at least, not where foreign presence is weak. "Business" here means extracting money and concessions from corrupt officials or collaborating with organized crime. Sooner or later, the "business" implodes and all those involved have to escape. There is great mobility in this part of the world :o)))

Q: Why the particular interest in Eastern Europe?

A: It is the Wild West, only it is in the East. There is gold in the streets. This gold stinks, but the less sensitive can make a lot of money. It is exciting. Where else would you have a chance to witness capitalism in the making? It is like a time machine, unreal: old fashions, old thinking, old habits, old-fashioned gangsters. Eastern Europe is a Hollywood movie set. In this environment I can distinguish myself as a pre-eminent and prominent economic wise man. What can I be in Israel? Here the very fact that I know English gives me a competitive advantage.