Narcissistic Parents - Excerpts Part 13 - Narcissist Emotions

Written by Sam Vaknin

Sadistically, they tremendously enjoy their ability to frustrate the desires, passions, and sexual wishes of women. It endows them with a feeling of omnipotence and with the pleasing experience of potent malevolence. Narcissists are regularly engaged in frustrating all women sexually - and in frustrating significant women in their lives both sexually and emotionally. Somatic narcissists simply use women as objects: use and discard. The emotional background is identical. While the cerebral narcissist punishes through abstention - the somatic narcissist penalizes through excess.

The narcissist's mother kept behaving as though the narcissist was and is not special (to her). The narcissist's whole life is a pathetic and pitiful effort to prove her wrong. The narcissist constantly seeks confirmation from others in his life that he IS special - in other words, that he IS. Women threaten this. Sex is "bestial" and "common". Nothing "special or unique" about sex. Women are perceived by the narcissist to be dragging him to their level, the level of the lowest common denominator of intimacy, sex, and human emotions. Everybody and anybody can feel, mate, and breed. There is nothing to set the narcissist apart and above others in these activities. And yet women seem to be interested ONLY in these pursuits. Thus, the narcissist emotionally believes that women are the continuation of his mother by other means and in different guises. They are only interested in reducing them to their level.

The narcissist hates women virulently, passionately, and uncompromisingly. His hate is primal, irrational, the progeny of mortal fear, and of sustained abuse. Granted, most narcissists learn how to suppress, disguise, even repress these untoward feelings. But their hatred does swing out of control and erupt from time to time. It is a terrifying, paralysing sight. It is the true narcissist.

next: Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List Part 14