Narcissist and Total Institutions - Excerpts Part 12

Written by Sam Vaknin

Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List Part 12

1. The Narcissist and Total Institutions
2. The Cultural Roots of One Narcissist
3. The Denial Mechanisms of the Narcissist
4. Therapy
5. Traumas and Personality Disorders
6. Narcissists and Medication
7. NPD Son
8. The Narcissist - a Gift to Humanity
9. Co-Dependents and Narcissists
10. Forms of Aggression
11. Narcissist the Sadist
12. Somatic versus Cerebral Narcissists

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13. The Narcissist and the Therapist
14. Being Nice to Others
15. Prostituting our Selves

1. The Narcissist and Total Institutions

The reactive patterns of people in "total institutions" (hospitals, boarding schools, army, prison and, THE total institution, the concentration camp) are unique.

Two questions come to mind:

1. Does a normal person react to total institutions by becoming a narcissist (a very plausible reaction)?
2. How do narcissists feel inside total institutions and adapt to them?

2. The Cultural Roots of One Narcissist

I was born in Israel to a Moroccan Jewish father and a Turkish Jewish mother. When I was born, the country was still largely run by Jews of East European and Central European and West European extract (Ashkenazim). I was a Sephardi, a member of a rather despised numerical majority. The Sephardim were considered to be primitive, maladaptive, devoured by ridiculous inferiority complexes, infested by superstitious traditions, uneducated and, in general, unfit to inhabit a modern, Western, liberal state such as the State of Israel aspired to become.

Reality was quite different. The Ashkenazim mostly came from the most regressive and retarded part of Europe (Poland and the Ukraine). The State of Israel until very lately was a socialist (not to say Bolshevik) bastion, very remote from Herzl's liberal ideal (Herzl was the personality disordered visionary founder of Zionism, the political movement that led to the formation of the State of Israel). And many Sephardim were much better adapted to Western culture and technology than thought, having been exposed to French rule for generations (remember "Casablanca"?).

I learned one thing in the process of becoming a non-Israeli and a non-Jew and, in general, a non-entity (=do not succumb to definitions): melting pots are unpleasantly hot places. They produce homogenous, non-descript, rather useless alloys. They simply don't work. People are anyhow so self-absorbed and self-centred (this seems to be a survival mechanism) that they have very little patience and tolerance. Adding ethnic and cultural friction to the mixture makes it explosive.

I have since lived in 11 countries. I don't know whether to attribute it to my narcissism or whether this is a common reaction (I tend to suspect the latter) - but I find myself constantly culturally shocked. The Russians think nothing of things that would make any American (bar the most extreme and nutty militias) shudder. The Czechs are emotional zombies, inoperative, dysfunctional robots after years of brainwashing, the Macedonians are prone to fantasizing and very short on action, the Americans are children: provincial, naive, aggressive, scared and mitigate their panic with endless rules and litigation. This is how I see them, of course, not how they really are. But it is too much to ask such different people to co-exist.

Culture shock leads to narcissism. In the absence of unconditional, loving and unequivocal acceptance, in the absence of predictable behaviours (due to cultural differences) - whole groups of people retreat and develop mass NPD. They develop grandiose fantasies, a False Self, the whole lot (read: Narcissistic at a Glance again).

3. The Denial Mechanisms of the Narcissist

Some narcissists employ denial mechanisms which they apply to their "extensions" (=family) as well. These narcissists instruct, order, or threaten their children into hiding the truth of abuse, malfunction, mal-adaptation, fear, pervasive sadness, violence, mutual hatred, and mutual repulsion which are the hallmarks of the narcissistic family. "Not to launder the dirty laundry outside" is a common sentence. The whole family conforms to the fantastic narrative of grandiosity, perfection, and superiority invented by the narcissist. The family becomes an extension of his False Self. This is an integral function of the sources of Secondary Narcissistic Supply. Criticizing the narcissist, disagreeing with him, or exposing the lie, penetrating the facade, calling the fiction by its proper name - are considered to be mortal sins. The sinner is immediately subjected to severe and constant emotional harassment, guilt and blame - and to abuse, including physical abuse. This state of things is especially typical of families with sexual abuse to hide.