But narcissism is a brittle construct. It is fragile because it is based on falsehoods. These falsehoods are exposed by those who gain access to the emotional side of the narcissist. These people - mostly his romantic partners - thus threaten to wreck the inner equilibrium so laboriously established by the narcissist. Women, especially, threaten to facilitate a breakthrough of the narcissist's repressed negative emotions. The narcissist is very frightened by this and by what women represent: further, final, and irrevocable destabilisation.

Such a narcissist flaunts, displays, emphasises, and externalises his intellect and subjects to it all other emotions and traits. In such a narcissist, intellect plays the role of the finger in the dam, trying to hold at bay negative feelings, which threaten to gush forth. Alas, it is as effective. It is in the "intellect comfort zone" that the cerebral narcissist feels most "at home" because there he can ignore the fact that his emotional volcano is bound to ultimately erupt with disastrous consequences.

The intellect is in the service of the Ego. The Ego uses the intellect and the knowledge amassed by the narcissist to resist change and healing. The narcissist constantly seeks (and finds) narcissistic and intellectual satisfaction - but is never content. The world's love of the narcissist never outweighs the narcissist's self-hate. The internal voices are never silenced by the bustle of a successful life. "You are bad", "You have negative emotions, which must be suppressed", "You should be punished severely" - they keep susurrating.

The narcissist's exclusive emphasis on the intellect is self-deluded. It ignores the narcissist's irrepressible emotions and the abuse of his intellect by the narcissist's Ego. Functionally, the narcissist's personality has a low to medium level of organisation.

To counter his demons the narcissist needs the world: its admiration, its adulation, its attention, its applause, even its penalties. The lack of a functioning personality on the inside is balanced by importing ego functions and boundaries from the outside. The Primary Narcissistic Supply reaffirms the narcissist's grandiose fantasies, buttresses his False Self and, thus allows him to regulate his fluctuating sense of self-worth.

While it is easy to understand the function of a PNSS, the SNSS is a more complicated story.

The company of women and pursuing a career are the two main Sources of Secondary Narcissistic Supply (SNSSs). Women serve as SNSSs only concurrent with PNSSs (Primary Narcissistic Supply Sources). SNSSs coexist with PNSSs.

The narcissist mistakenly interprets his narcissistic needs as emotions. To him, the pursuit of a woman-SNSS is what others call "love" or "passion".

In the absence of a PNSS, SNSSs become anti-narcissistic agents. Analysing this transformation sheds light on the important functions of the SNSSs.

If we compare the narcissist's personality to a multi-layered archaeological excavation, we find his personal traits at the earliest, bottom layer. His looks, intelligence, sense of humour, are all part of this layer. However, because it is universal (every one has personality traits, everyone is "unique" in this sense) - the narcissist tends to ignore this layer as a Source of Narcissistic Supply.

Then, in the next layer up, come the external (mostly social) parameters which help to define the narcissist. His personal status, economic situation, property owned by him or to which he has access, etc. This layer is only marginally more rewarding narcissistically because everyone has such distinguishing parameters.

Only the next, third, level is of some narcissistic importance. It is the layer comprised of the narcissist's personal history. Asked to describe his life, the narcissist tries to emphasise the unusual and extraordinary elements. It is the uniqueness of these events, which endows them with their narcissistic potency.

The final layer is the layer of narcissistic circumstances. They are the direct result of the operation of PNSSs. Being famous or being considered rich, for instance, are narcissistic circumstances and they are the results of the twin PNSSs: publicity and (wealth related) conspicuous consumption.

The third layer (unusual personal history) is filled with narcissistic content and can be directly derived from SNSS - but it does not form a part of the narcissistic circumstances unless there is a parallel or complementing presence of a PNSS.

For example: the narcissist can author a Web site about narcissism and publish it (which is somewhat unusual). However, he will derive no Narcissistic Supply from this unless it makes him famous - or unless he is famous already. Uniqueness - and, therefore, Narcissistic Supply - are at the core of the narcissistic circumstances. In the absence of these circumstances the narcissist does not feel (narcissistically) unique and, therefore, he feels non-existent.

But this still does not explain why does a SNSS (the narcissist's spouse, for example) function as an anti-narcissistic agent in the absence of a PNSS. It is one thing not to provide Narcissistic Supply and yet another to drain the narcissist of it.

Let us study the internal dialogue of a narcissist who has a romantic liaison with a woman - but no PNSS.

If the woman loves him (when he has no PNSS and narcissistic circumstances), he can't understand her motivation. He believes that she must be either lying to him, or interested in a limited sexual relationship, or after his money, or, worse, she may not be looking for someone special (to remind you, the narcissist does not feel unique in the absence of PNSS).