The narcissist experiences then a loss of inner compass, the nauseating feeling that he cannot trust even himself, or properly gauge his own capabilities. He is very weakened by the re-enactment of his childhood's traumatic disappointments. He is sad because he gets in touch with his emotions and realises suddenly how crippled he is and how much he misses by being so. He feels inferior, underprivileged and perennially envious.

The lesson that he derives: he must avoid love, love substitutes and libidinal objects. Because he was always told that he is unworthy of love, because he internalised these voices (of the ideal objects) - when he is loved or when he secures love substitutes (money, power, prestige) he finds himself embroiled in an internal conflict.

Reality offers the narcissist both love and love equivalents or substitutes - but the ideal (badly) internalised object (the narcissist's mother, in most cases) says that he is not worthy of love, that he should be punished because he is inherently bad and corrupt. Impaled on the horns of this dilemma, the narcissist loses control and embarks on an orgy of self-destruction which leads to the loss of both his loved ones and his love substitutes.

Mental Map # 3

Women, love substitutes
Conflict of internalisation
Conflict with introjected ideal object
("You are a bad boy, you do not deserve love, and you deserve to be punished")
Re-enactment of the basic conflict or Oedipal Conflict
Acts of self-destruction
Destruction of relationships
Abandonment
Acts of self-destruction and resolution of the conflict
Destruction of love substitutes
Loss of love substitutes leads to dysphoria and depression
Resolution of the conflict due to loss of NSS and the reconstruction of the conflict
Dysphoria and depression due to loss of NSS

Mental Map # 4

The basic Narcissistic Cycle
Narcissistic Supply Source: Women
Love substitutes and Narcissistic Supply Sources (NSSs):
money, power, prestige, etc.
All lead to:
A conflict with an internalisation of an ideal (Oedipal) object
("You are a bad boy, you are not worthy of love, you deserve to be punished")
Fear of losing control - initiation of abandonment and of losses
Contact with women leads to a re-enactment of the basic conflict with the mother
and to the formation of (pathological, adult) narcissism.
All the above results in:
Abandonment (by women) and loss of love substitutes
This constitutes the resolution of the conflict with the internalisation of the ideal object
and to dysphoria and depression due to a loss of the Narcissistic Supply Sources.
The abandonment leads to depression and suicidal ideation
because the basic conflict with the mother is replayed.

Women are NSSs. But they also negate the narcissist's conviction that he is unique, sustained through much investment of mental energy. Women are therefore anti-narcissistic agents.

They cause a replay of the basic conflict with the mother and of the failed internalisation of the ideal object (the traumatic disappointment). Their love provokes in the narcissist untold powers of self-punishment and of self-destruction. Being abandoned by them constitutes an exact recreation of the relationship with the abandoning mother and her vindication.

The very need for a woman is a constant reminder of the narcissist's inferiority and weakness (to need is to be inferior and weak).

The universality of this need, the fact that everyone has such a need, negates (really, obliterates) the narcissist's sense of idiosyncrasy, of being special, superior, different.

He envies women because of their emotional skills ("equipment", he is likely to call it), their strength, resilience, maturity, forgiveness and the ability to humiliate, reduce to size, put in perspective, deflate, and, thus, inflict pain.

Women, the narcissist feels, judge him out of their superior position, they accept, reject, and then abandon. This makes him rebellious. He wants to frustrate them, to hurt them. This is anathema to his narcissistic feeling of omnipotence.