The second category of sex is when the narcissist is personally recognised but not considered special. The narcissist abhors this kind of sex because he perceives to be a threat to his sense of uniqueness.

The narcissist has no problem to maintain sexual exclusivity with a partner as long as this partner thinks that the narcissist is unique due to his narcissistic circumstances. This is close to the narcissistic ideal sex. THE ideal would be to have sex with people that the narcissist considers of a lesser "pedigree". The ideal partners are the narcissist's inferiors in stature, in fame, in personal traits, in wealth, or in their personal biography.

But whomever the sexual partner is, he or she are expected to adore the narcissist and enhance his sense of uniqueness. The conclusion is that the narcissist has a problem with having sex with a woman who does not judge him to be unique. He cannot have satisfactory sex with a partner who only knows a few bare biographical facts about him. This is not enough to establish uniqueness.

This is one of the important roles of PNSSs: to create an a-priori asymmetry, to establish the superiority of the narcissist. If he is a celebrity, more information about him is available to potential partners. If he is a high level functionary, he is ipso facto powerful. If a known prodigy, he has more potential and uniqueness than his sex partner.

NSS determine the boundaries of his Ego, its contents and its functions - but, as importantly, they endow the narcissist with uniqueness. They save him the trouble of introducing himself, time and again and convincing others that he is special. They give him an advantage, the upper hand, and they reinforce his uniqueness in his own mind.

Publicity is when everyone knows that you are special and this makes you believe that you are unique and that you exist.

next: Chapter 7, The Soul of a Narcissist, The State of the Art