On the other hand, the narcissist finds interpersonal relationships impossible when the function of accumulation is not provided by his partner and when she fails to provide him with constant adulation and submissiveness. Yet, the partner is not likely to provide these things when there are no PNSS available or when she is intimate with the narcissist.

The main narcissistic defence mechanism (grandiose self) and its parallel energy mechanism (Reserved Libido invested in the self) preclude real, lasting interpersonal relationships. Proximity and intimacy endanger the grandiose self. Knowing the narcissist intimately, the partner is unlikely to continue to submissively provide him with accumulation and adulation and to continue to play the "I am inferior – you are superior" game. The narcissist cannot allocate enough Free Libido to invest in an emotional and sexual partner that is not a SNSS.

The narcissist's personality maintains an equilibrium at a minimal level of energy investment. All his mental processes are on the path of least resistance. The narcissist prefers means that do lead to PNSS but consume the least energy on the way there. An example that we used before is now further elucidated:

If works of art or intellect created by the narcissist long ago supply him with all the PNSSs that he requires – he ceases to create. His drive to create is not a primary drive. It is an instrument in the never-ending quest for PNSS. He can easily abstain from creating if the (high) level of Narcissistic Supply he obtains regularly does not warrant it.

But this is only one part of a larger picture.

There is a constant battle going on between the TEGO and the much stronger SEGO. When TEGO is marginally strengthened the emphasis shifts to SNSSs (mate, work). The result is a shortage of PNSSs and narcissistic frustration.

The narcissist is a man of extremes. He does not properly balance his energy and his needs, maybe because he is not aware of the latter. So he allocates all his resources to a single task, neglecting the others.

FEGO is now activated. Using aggression received from SEGO, FEGO leads to a situation in which TEGO is no longer able to express or manifest itself. Put plainly: FEGO creates circumstances which make it impossible for the narcissist to find a partner and to live with her or to find a job which does not yield Primary Narcissistic Supply (PNS).

The narcissist experiences this mental putsch in the form of a sudden negative reaction to women and to "unglamorous", "no limelight", unexciting workplaces and jobs. He is likely to act out and permanently damage his relationship with a significant other or in a promising job.

To reiterate: the narcissist regards other people (and society at large) as mere Narcissistic Sources of Supply (functions). When someone is thought of as a function – he or she is abstracted, transformed into a symbol. Symbols are easily interchangeable – and so are Sources of Supply.

Some narcissists – in specific phases of his pathology – refrain even from the direct handling of what they regard as mere symbols. In other words, they decline to make and maintain contact with human beings as individuals and with society as a whole. It is a strange kind of reclusiveness. This kind of narcissist may be outwardly outgoing, gregarious, successful, and famous – but inwardly he is an autarkic hermit, the epitome of "object withdrawal".

The schizoid narcissist uses his mate/spouse as a substitute for the objects, which he had forgone. She is capable, in principle, of supplying all his needs (sexual, social, and narcissistic). She fulfils the function of "object replacement" through "object representation". She stands for the world.

The narcissist has precious little mental energy (the bulk of it is constantly invested in himself). It is better (and more efficient) for him to deal with a single representation than with the baffling and energy consuming array of phenomena, people, and social structures in the outside world.

Gradually, the narcissist displaces all the emotions which were previously reserved for objects (the outside world) and projects them onto his partner. She cannot stand this emotional barrage and his impossible set of expectations and soon she breaks down and ceases to fulfil the narcissistic functions of adulation and submissiveness. She rebels against the conventions of this shared psychosis (folie a deux), against the narcissist's self-declared superiority and refuses to actively witness and record his life. She is thus rendered useless from the point of view of Narcissistic Accumulation.

The narcissist reacts by devaluing the mate or spouse, that he had previously idealised and overvalued, and the relationship ends. The narcissist's reactions to women (and to other SNSSs, notably money) are pathological and make use of mental constructs poorly correlated with reality. He assimilates them without accommodating them – a process doomed to backfire through acting out.

next: Chapter 8, The Soul of a Narcissist, The State of the Art