Loss of Control of Grandiosity

Chapter 9

What happens if the narcissist fails to find Narcissistic Supply Sources (NSSs)?

This precipitates a narcissistic crisis. The narcissist becomes more desperate and more compulsive in looking for his drug. The more he fails, the more he is hurt and he expresses his emotional turmoil by acting out.

Moreover, the absence of SNSSs or their deficiency coupled with the resulting narcissistic crisis increase the fluctuations in the quantity of Narcissistic Supply and widen the Grandiosity Gap (between the grandiose fantasies of the narcissist and his less than glamorous reality). This volatility erodes the narcissist's self-esteem, self-image, and self-confidence. The narcissist self-devalues and is reduced to depression and doubts.

In other words: the gap between the narcissist's grandiose fantasies and reality is so wide that the FEGO's narcissistic defence mechanisms can no longer be maintained even with the use of strong repression and denial.

This triggers two defensive reactions. Their aim is to stabilise Narcissistic Supply and to reduce the narcissist's emotional lability:

1. The Reactive Repertoire is reawakened (encouraging the narcissist to flee the scene of his failures and thus create an alibi for future failures).
2. An increase in the consumption of PNSSs (if SNSSs are deficient) or of SNSSs (if PNSSs are deficient).

This last measure does stabilise the situation in the short run but it has a destabilising effect in the longer run.

All this is done mainly to protect the FEGO. The narcissist "knows" that when the FEGO is shattered, the ability of the Hyperconstruct to resist the punitive influence of the SEGO dwindles and both TEGO and the narcissist's relations with outside objects are in danger.

In the absence of SNSS, an increase in the consumption of randomly available PNSS leads to an enhanced volatility of Narcissistic Supply. If prolonged, this leads to a collapse of the Hyperconstruct, including the eminently important FEGO.

This opens the way to the tyrannical SEGO and to an era of suicidal tendencies and ideation.

From a psychodynamic point of view, when the Narcissistic Supply fluctuates with increasing volatility, the result is an oscillation between over-valuation or idealisation (the outcome of the narcissist's grandiose fantasies) and under-valuation and even de-valuation (the Grandiosity Gap, the confrontation between his grandiose fantasies and a decidedly less grandiose reality).

Gradually, the effects of the PNSS fade. This type of NSS is not stable - precisely why a function of accumulation is required. The release of accumulated Narcissistic Supply - the role of the SNSS - smoothes the supply derived from PNSS by equally distributing it over time (regulating it).

Still, the devaluation extreme of this pendular motion erodes the narcissist's sense of self-worth, self-image, self-esteem, and self-confidence. This weakens the FEGO considerably and the SEGO takes over with a double-pronged action:

1. It attacks the TEGO, provoking dysphoria and depressive anhedonia in the process. It devalues the narcissist's self-worth and self-image, inciting self-hatred and self-loathing, which lead to self-destruction and to suicidal ideation.
   Suicide cannot be ruled out in such a case.
2. It attacks the objects (meaningful or significant others) in the narcissist's life. It repels them by externalising the narcissist's depression and self-destructive urges, by "spoiling" good feelings and achievements, by fostering compulsive acts, by generating overt transformations of aggression (envy, boredom, rage, cynicism), by displaying emotional platitude, by avoiding sex.

The next phase is comprised of rebellious acts against authority figures and institutions, delinquent behaviour, and passive-aggressive sabotage.

But this raging battle and the arsenal of weaponry used in it are a reflection of deeper turbulence in the soul of the narcissist.

The narcissist transforms his life into his single biggest creative act. In other words, the narcissist is an actor (FEGO) whose creation is his own life. He adapts the narrative to fit changing audiences. There is, actually, no discernible, identifiable, single narcissist - but a myriad, mirrored, confabulations.

This constant acting creates - both in the narcissist and in his social milieu - feelings of deceit, falsity, vacillating moods, a multi-layered existence, evasiveness, crookedness, and evil mysteriousness. SNSSs are frustrated by this and often feel threatened by the inability to "capture" and pigeonhole the narcissist.

Life as a work of art (rather than one's art as part of one's biography) is an element of the narcissist's "virtual normalcy" (simulated normal functioning). The narcissist assembles whereas others create, cohabits instead of sharing, establishes and runs "Potemkin" businesses, and indulges in bogus fantasies instead of doing the real thing. He pursues PNSS (publicity) in lieu of professional reputation and standing.