QUESTION:

Okay the Prozac has really helped. Everyone says I'm happier and easier to get along with. Even my wife likes me more. But there are problems. It takes an hour to (have an orgasm) and it makes me not want my wife and now she thinks I don't want her. I still don't know how to be happy without being angry. It makes me feel scared and I crash and make things worse. What do I do now?

DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

The orgasm problem usually goes away with either ginkgo 120mg twice daily, Wellbutrin (buproprion) or both. The difficulty achieving orgasm may be a symptom of being scared as well. People who are used to being angry often don't know how to handle their real feelings. Anger is not a feeling, it's a defense that gives us the illusion of strength when we feel weak, vulnerable, powerless, hurt or afraid. Without all the anger those other feelings are likely interfering with your life - probably affecting your sex life as well.

You need as needed medications for when you crash. Haldol (haloperidol) 2mg usually works. You may need Tegretol (carbamazepine) as well.

You also need to "retrain the brain." You're used to being angry, moody, depressed and miserable. You think like an angry, moody, depressed and miserable person.
Four things you need to do:

1) start reading the books I recommend: "Your Erroneous Zones" by Wayne Dyer, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, "Happiness is a Choice" by Barry Neil Kaufman, "Looking Out for Number One" by Robert Ringer, "The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Any More" by Alan Cohen, and "See You at the Top" by Zig Ziglar are an excellent start. Even 5 minutes a day will work and you'll eventually get them read.

2) Do the affirmations out loud twice daily for at least a year.

3) Get Zig Ziglar's tape series and listen, listen, listen and listen. The borderlines who listen to Zig ziglar the most do the best.

4) See a therapist and get professional help. See a therapist that emphasizes moving on from here rather than dwelling on the past.

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