QUESTION:

I am in a relationship with a borderline man. He is very gentle, caring, sweet , thoughtful etc. He has temper on him, though'. When he's angry I tell him that I will return to be with him as soon as he's calmed down. Here's my problem. He's 35, he has a fairly good job; but he still lives a home with Mom & Dad, and see nothing wrong with this. He's thoroughly enmeshed with his folks. He fears their abandoning him, they have no intention of doing so. He loves me & wants us to be together forever, I love him too. But it's hard to plan a future with someone who has no immediate plans of moving out. On his own, and cutting the ties that bind (Dear old Mom and Dad). By the way he's bought my ring.

But if he'll be living at a different address from me; after we're engaged or married. I'm moving on. For your information, he's been in therapy for years.

DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

That's more than just the BPD. I highly encourage you to seek additional medically treatable diagnoses, such as the generalized anxiety disorder, dysthymia, and the OCPD.

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