QUESTION:

I'd like to bring my son to you.

I've ordered Biological Unhappiness. It's waiting for me at Barnes & Noble. I have to drive 40+ miles to get it. I'll get it this Friday.

My difficulties:

1. Convincing my son (26 yrs.) to go with me to Florida next summer. What if he refuses?
2. I'm a school teacher and school begins Aug. 22; I have to wait for a chunk of vacation time and save some money
3. No one else in the family is likely to reach out to us with help; too busy His father died of AIDS in '89 so my son and I are alone with this
4. What kind of damage is there in waiting so long? I'm afraid of the local mental health agency now that your website says regular therapists can cause harm to BPD clients

DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

First of all there are good therapists all over, finding them can be difficult. Patty has tried to give some good guidelines about what to look out for.

I would try to find a local physician and bring in the article I wrote for primary care physicians back in 1991. Your best option is to get help locally. There are many caring physicians out there who want to help and don't know what to do. Family Physicians are often very patient and results oriented and are an alternative to psychiatrists. Most mental health prescribing is done by Family Physicians.

The longer his self-esteem and attitude are injured the tougher it will be for him to recover.

Even though he's using marijuana, he likely is unhappy and hurting. People like that generally want to be better. I think seeing the back cover of "Biological Unhappiness" will help him. If he has the BPD, printing the front cover of my first book "Life at the Border" may be of help. Just looking at the symptoms usually has a great effect.

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