In a Relationship with a BPD

Written by Dr. Leland Heller

QUESTION:

I am pretty confused, I have been involved with BP female who does push-pull, come here, then seems to hate me. So I say I am moving on because i can't handle the stress of it and all of a sudden she completely changes her attitude and becomes civil again. The change of mood and personality is shocking and bizarre. Please don't use my screen name or other because

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she has access to computer as well and I'd like to keep this private. why the total freeze out when I give a present. And the turn around back to being friendly when I get tired and give the house key back? How do I interpret this? do I run like heck and don't look back? It's way too stressful .

DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

It's never your responsibility to be miserable helping someone else. The "freezing out" with a present indicates more than the BPD, although fear of getting close can cause some serious dysphoria. If you perceive it as "way too stressful" it's probably your indication to move on.

If you'd like to help her, print up the front cover of my book "Life at the Border" and let her see it. It's available in the "books" section of this website.

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