Personality Disorders Community

Husband with BPD

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QUESTION:

My husband Joe was diagnosed with BPD. Although I have searched for information it has be unavailable until I got the internet. Thank you Thank you Thank you. No one here in this area are qualified to help. I am severely dyslexic and have my own cross to bear. My husband and I have been married 28 tumultuous years. I love him dearly and do not believe divorce is a solution only a problem. I have promised to love, honor, and cherish him in SICKNESS and health and take my marriage covenants very seriously but I am worn out. He treats his BPD by gambling. However, he only gambles when under duress (usually once every 6-8 months). But when he does he stays for days and sometimes weeks to avoid the pain he feels. This man complains of pain every day. I am tired of watching him suffer. His grandma on his mother's side was institutionalized for depression and schizophrenia and his uncle on his father's side was in epileptic and mentally handicapped. Joe has absolutely NO self esteem and carries enormous amounts of guilt all the time. We have a 16 year old daughter who is exhibiting the same type of behavior. She on a ranch for troubled teens. Please help.

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DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

The love and commitment you have for your husband is admirable and heartwarming. It's heart breaking when I hear stories like this knowing that people like your husband can do so well with the right combination of medications and brain retraining. No matter how bad he feels there clearly is hope. One thing that has helped many people is to print the front cover of my first book "Life at the Border" so he can see it. Once he realizes hope is possible, there's a good chance he'll read more information about the BPD and get the help he needs and both of you deserve.

Please use this website as a source of information for you. There are many studies, articles, Q&A's, etc. If your husband is serious about having a great life, the information is here for him.

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