How Do I Help My Husband And Protect My Kids?

QUESTION:

Dear Dr. Heller,

After my husband had self-mutilated himself, stalked one of my co-workers (for sending me an e-mail), and spying on me, I was able to convince him to go to a therapist for one session. She suggested that he had BPD and she wanted to do a diagnostic. He didn't go back. He's backsliding and I'm concerned. He's always stressed about something, and he's switched from pot to drinking more. It has affected my emotional well-being and happiness. How can I help him, and, as a spouse of someone with BPD, what do I need to do to maintain health and safety for me and our kids?

DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

In Here you can find suggestions on how to get him interested in getting help.

I don't believe those with the BPD can be helped significantly unless they have the right medication. Only then will counseling and other measures be effective.

If he is raging and behaving out of control, and refuses to get help, you need to protect yourself and your kids. At minimum you should seek counseling and get some suggestions. You may need to see an attorney.

Those with the BPD can do extremely well with the right medications and therapy, but without them the prognosis is poor - especially for family life.

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