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QUESTION:

I think, by the descriptions, I have borderlines in my family and am currently involved with one in a relationship (repeating family patterns?). The borderlines in my family I rarely contact anymore - too negative and too overwhelming. My relationship is on a string. I understand their problems but they don't seem to think that is the problem - 'I have the problem'. But the behavior as characterized by public humiliations, loud arguments over nothing, secretiveness, deceit and constant proclamations of love without loving behavior make me wonder why I am continuing to put up with it. What do you suggest?

DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

First and foremost you need to get into counseling. You need a different perspective.

Since much of what's wrong is genetic, it would be a wise idea to get your diagnoses made and treated. My new book "Biological Unhappiness" explains these issues.

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