QUESTION:

My son who is 22 years old and has bpd has not spoken to me in 4 weeks because I said something that made him very angry. He will rage when I don't give into his demands and threaten to kill me and the sad thing is, he never sees what he does as wrong. He will not go for treatment. I believe he is self medicating. I see all the anger he is feeling and feel sorry for him and wonder if I should apologize for saying something that upset him. I want to help him but at the same time I am worried that if I apologize I am condoning all the times he has raged at me. I don't know what to do.

DR. HELLER'S ANSWER:

Sometimes the best thing to do is to back off. Time is sometimes the only thing that can get him to listen. He can only get help if he wants it. He will come back to you if you are patient. I'd highly recommend you learn as much as you can from this website.

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